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翻译：Q妹/嗣音/菀兮/阿拉斯加香芋派/Cecilia/pici/
翻译：Sherry/Inevitable/荏存/CiCi/surui/lguanodon
校对：Paul Jackie/Inshallah/斑尼/微光倾城/Alice
二校：石头
啥 他在酒吧孤身一人连个保安都没带吗？ What? He was just at the bar without any security or anything?
别急 精彩的还在后面呢呢 Wait, I haven't gotten to the best part.
接下来我们就在他的房间里了 Next thing I know, we're in his hotel room,
他正在和我的咪咪玩耍 and he's lathering up my titties with that little bar of soap.
太扯了吧 我根本就没想过睡他 It's crazy, because I'm not even attracted to him.
他都没有我钟爱的翘臀 He's got no ass.
-你就钟爱翘臀 -对极了 - You're more of an ass girl. - Exactly.
老娘就钟爱翘臀 好吧？ I like my men to have ass, indeed. Okay?
脑子不重要 I don't care if they can read.
但是我得说清楚 But let me state,
巴拉克 奥巴马让我高潮不断 Barack Obama straight fucked the shit out of me.
-什么？-但我一点也享受不起来 - What? - But I couldn't even enjoy it.
我觉得我特别对不起米歇尔 I was feeling so bad for Michelle the whole time.
都叫你别老看她的书 毁了我对他所有的幻想 I told you not to read her book. It's ruined all my fantasies about him.
我可以忽略他穿妈妈裤的样子 但无法忽略他是莎莎和玛丽亚的爹 I can block out his mom jeans, but not Sasha and Malia.
这次他老二表现如何？ What was his dick like this time?
雄风凛凛 It was dignified and confident.
颇有总统风范 That dick was presidential.
-你先洗吗？-你先吧 你洗头发费时 - You want to shower first? - Your hair takes longer.
我干洗就行 I'm just gonna dry shampoo.
为什么？你的头发还没油啊 看起来挺好的 Why? It's not even greasy yet. You're good.
-真的？-嗯哼 - Really? - Mm-hmm.
为什么幻想中的爱爱和现实的差这么多？ Why is dream sex way better than real sex?
在幻想的时候你们可以同时到达巅峰啊 Because they come when you want them to.
姐妹 太对了！ Girl, that is so true!
我嗨他也嗨！完美！ When I'm done, they're done! Hello!
-嗨 -嗨 - Hey. - Hey.
昨晚过的怎样 西德妮？ How was your night, Syd?
嘿 那个“三明治”好吃不？ Yeah, how was that muffuletta?
怎么说呢 我是都吃下去之后 Oh, well, I ended up eating the whole thing.
才意识到我把芝士隔纸也吃了 And then I realized I didn't take the paper out between the cheese slices.
所以 有点反胃 So I'm a little backed up.
没啥事 起码高纤维 -嗯哼 - That's okay. Good fiber. - Mm-hmm.
你可能要拉肚子了 You're probably gonna shit a novel.
妈呀 太好了 Oh, God, I sure hope so.
西德妮 让我来接手一会儿 方便吗 Wow, Syd. Let me step in for a minute. Can I tap you out?
猜猜怎么着？她可是我们这最棒的化妆师 Guess what? We have the best makeup artist in the house.
是我们老板呢 One of the owners.
-嘿 亲爱的 -嘿 姐妹 还好吧？ - Hey, B. - Hey, girl, how you doing?
你搞定最后一批梅子色口红了吗？ Did you finish up that last batch of plum lipsticks?
必须的 Uh-huh.
哦 天呐 Oh, my God.
米娅什么时候调的色？太美了 When did Mia mix that? It's gorgeous.
我懂的 是吧？她就是个天才 I know, right? She's a genius.
真让人不爽 It's infuriating.
这些还没完工呢 These aren't done yet.
她还没搞定那些睫毛膏吗？ She didn't finish the mascaras?
我可不想告你的好闺蜜的状 I don't like snitching on your non-sexual life partner.
你不想就怪了 巴雷特 Yes, you do, Barret.
她吃了大麻糖之后说她明天会搞定的 She ate some weed candy and said she'd finish tomorrow.
行吧 我收拾一下 Okay. I'll clean it up in a bit.
-你今晚是有什么活动？-呃 有校庆 - So, where you headed to tonight? - Uh, homecoming.
校庆啊！很好 那你穿什么颜色的裙子？ Homecoming! Okay, what color is your dress?
-白色和金色的 -白色和金色... - White and gold. - White and gold...
好了 接下来我们来搞定你的眉毛 All right, so now let's finish those eyebrows off.
多好的眉毛啊 记得别拔太多哦 They're great brows, too. Never ever pluck them too much, okay?
‘粗’才是美眉的精髓 'Cause thick is where it's at!
-美极啊 -谢谢你 - So gorgeous. - Thank you.
-我听到了校庆哦 -是的 - Homecoming, I hear? - Yes.
-我能看一下嘛？- 首先 你要有这个认知 - Can I see? - First, I want you to say,
“老娘世界第一 跪下唱征服” "I'm a badass bitch. Look at me and bow down."
但是别告诉你妈啊 But don't tell your mom.
我马上毕业了 无所畏惧啊 I'm a senior. Give me a fucking break.
哦 是的 Oh, sorry.
好的 Okay.
老娘世界第一 跪下唱征服 I'm a badass bitch. Look at me and bow down.
好！看看吧 Yes! Take a look.
天啊 Oh, my God.
这竟然是我！ That's me!
还有 记住今晚不要和任何人上床 好吧？ And remember, no sex tonight, okay?
校庆上的爱爱是最烂的 Homecoming sex is the worst.
因为你的同伴被跳舞弄的身上黏糊糊的 Because your date gets to dancing, they get all sweaty,
然后那些汗都积在他们的宽腰带上 and that sweat gets trapped under their cummerbund,
接着流到他们的弟弟那里 这就是女孩们得念珠菌阴道炎的原因了 then that moves down to Funkytown, and that's how you get a yeast infection.
你当然不会想得这玩意儿 And you don't want a yeast infection.
还有 你知道的 你只能在有限青春里保持紧致 Plus, you know, you're only super tight for a limited time,
因此你肯定不想浪费小妹妹 so you don't want to waste it.
阿门！ Amen!
非常感谢 Thanks so much for everything.
-不客气 -再见 小可爱 - All right. - Bye, baby.
-你看起来美极了！-今晚玩得开心点 注意安全！ - You look gorgeous! - Have fun tonight. Be safe!
如果有人惹你 报出我的名字 If you not safe, name it after me.
什么...你没有收全额费用 What... You didn't charge her the full amount.
我们给那可爱的书呆子打个折 We gave her the cute nerd discount.
我们商量过了 We've talked about this.
伙计们 我们已经自身难保了 Guys, we're barely keeping our heads above water.
我们可以的 一夜情套装卖的超火 We're doing fine. The One Night Stand kit is selling like crazy.
没错 我补货的速度赶不上它卖的速度 Yeah. I can't make them fast enough.
我知道 或许这就是问题的所在 I know. Maybe that's the problem.
但是得不到的才是最好的啊 But if you can't get it, that's what makes it cool.
没错 人们就是喜欢被虐 Yeah. People love being denied.
品质是我们不懈的追求 不是吗？ Quality is what we do, right?
我的意思是 我们绝不想自毁招牌 没错吧？ I mean, we don't want to mess up our street cred. Right?
对 你说的都对 Right. Right.
那好 我们要出发去金姆的宝宝宴了 All right, well, we're going to Kim's baby shower.
明天见 See you guys tomorrow.
不 我们还会回来的 下午见 Actually, no. We'll be back. We'll see you this afternoon.
好！ 明天见！ Okay! See you tomorrow!
金姆的房子好像更大了？ Kim's house get even bigger?
她或许安装了那种日本的马桶 She probably had one of those Japanese toilets installed
能吹干洗净你的屁屁 that blow-dry your coochie.
喔 Wow.
有钱真好 It must be nice having money.
嗨！ Hi!
你好！ Hey!
嘿！ Hey!
你们真好 总是给我们化妆 You guys are so sweet to always do our makeup.
我们想把你打扮的美美的 你本来就很美哒 We want you to look good, and you do.
-你是孕妇俏佳人！-是嘛 谢谢 - You look real good, pregnant girl! - Oh, thank you.
我确实感觉不错 I actually feel amazing.
等着吧 Just wait.
小赖德 他真是一个小抱虫 而且还那么地肉嘟嘟 Little Ryder. He's such a little cuddle bug, and so chubby!
那是 我吃的东西都变成他肥肥的游泳圈 I know. His little fat folds catch all the food I eat.
没错 妹子 我有一样的感觉 Same, girl. Same over here.
嗨 Hi.
嗨 来的正好 Hi. Perfect timing!
放哪儿？ —放这边就好 快进来 - Where should I put it? - Over here is great. Come on in.
大家在干嘛呢？ What did you guys do?
这个小东西完美的展示了你们的未来 This is a little something... to show your future.
我去...? What the...?
我的妈啊 Oh, my God.
妈呀 Oh.
可怜的小宝宝被卡在阴道口了吗？ Is this vagina eating this poor baby doll's head?
这些巧克力粉撒在上面代表阴毛吗？ Is this chocolate sprinkles your pubes?
天呐 这真是太美了 Oh, my God. This is so beautiful.
你说的是这个糖霜阴道蛋糕吗? You talking about this frosted replica of your vagina?
-就是这样 -呃 - That's exactly what it looks like. - Ew.
虽然我把私处刮干净了 I got completely waxed, though.
我想让医生在一个干净的环境接生 I want a clean work space for the doctor.
太体贴了吧！我当初让他们自己找的 That is so considerate! I made them find it.
你们难道不想要一个嘛 I can't believe you don't want one of these.
-你在说这个仿阴部蛋糕吗？-不 是孩子 - You talking about a pussy cake? - No, a baby!
-你懂的 我们的事业就是我们的孩子 -没错 - You know our business is our baby. - Hell, yeah.
我知道 我就是有点担心 I know, but I just get worried
你们拖着到最后啥都没得到 that you guys are gonna wait too long and miss out.
-还有大把时间呢 -没错 珍妮杰克逊50才生的 - We got time. - Yeah, Janet Jackson had a baby at 50.
没错 你们可以事业宝宝双丰收 Exactly. And you can have a successful career and a baby.
我在为双丰收努力 I'm doing both.
我快要疯掉了！ I'm losing my fucking mind!
我昨晚梦见赖德在地上爬 I had a dream last night that Ryder was crawling around on the floor.
有一排老鼠夹 There were a bunch of mousetraps,
把他撕成一片片地拽走 最终什么都没剩下 and they kept taking pieces of him away from me until there was nothing left.
哦 你们一定能成功 Oh, you got to do it!
现在生意怎样？ So how is the business going?
不好说 我们现在虽然还没暴富 但还是做的还不错 I mean, we don't have shit tons of money, but we're doing pretty great.
哦 真的吗？你确定？ Oh, really? Seriously?
-好的 -...过得还好吧？ - Okay. - So... you're okay?
网上销售十分火爆 Online sales are very strong.
实体店呢？生意好些了吗？ And the store? Is business picking up there?
嗯哼 校庆季刚刚开始 我们那来了一些客户 Well, homecoming season just started, so we're getting those clients.
-集美们 你们真的应该来逛逛！-绝对去 - You guys should come and check it out! - For sure.
-哇 绝美！-玛格特阿姨 太感谢了 - Oh, cute! - Thank you, Aunt Margot.
好啦 下一个礼物是什么呀~看看下一个~ Okay, what's next, what's next?
-这个是梅尔和米娅送的 -哇塞 - This one is from Mel and Mia. - Oh, my God.
“宝宝的第一个化妆百宝箱” "Baby's First Makeup Kit."
好可爱鸭 So cute.
一支儿童迷你唇彩耶 A little baby lipstick.
是啊 儿童专用小口红 让你的宝贝看起来更小小只~ Yeah, babies can use it. Makes 'em look smaller.
-厉害耶 我都想偷用宝宝化妆品了！-哈哈哈理解理解 - I'm gonna steal that baby's makeup. - I know.
呀呼！这创意绝了！ Oh, my goodness, this is so clever.
-从哪儿搞到的？-我们自己生产的 - Where'd you get this? - We made it.
-我们开了一家化妆品公司 -很棒哦 - We have our own makeup company. - Good for you.
我小女儿的碱水公司卖了足足400万美元哟 My youngest daughter sold her alkaline water company for four million dollars.
-这么厉害的嘛？-是~喔~ - Wha? - Mm-hmm.
那你们公司估过市值了吗？ Have you had a valuation of your company yet?
现在还没有呢 玛格特阿姨 No, not yet, Aunt Margot.
噢这样呀 没事儿 付出总有回报的 Oh, well, don't worry. It comes at a cost.
我闺女总是充满干劲儿 She's always been so driven.
你知道吗 她去年刚生了宝宝 You know, she just had her first baby last year.
哇 恭喜你升级为玛格特外婆了 Well, congratulations, Grandma Margot.
谢谢鸭 Thank you.
哈-哈- Uh-huh.
这狗老婆子什么玩意儿！ What a rude-ass woman!
她豪横什么？不就是靠给她的土豪老头子干点那事？就是那活儿呗... What does she do? She just gives her rich old husband hand jobs? I mean...
你恼羞成怒的样子我太爱了 I love when you get mad like this.
我希望当着别人面的时候你也这么说 你咋不这么说嘞? I wish you would do this in people's faces. Why you don't do that?
-因为那是你的活啊- 不错 的确如此 - 'Cause I got you for that. - This is true. I got your back.
-她不知所云！-是啊 - She didn't know what she was talking about. - Mm-hmm.
“我闺女牛哄哄的哟 开着一家铀厂子哟...” "My daughter with the uranium..."
-你想说的是碱吧 -不是铀吗 - You mean alkaline. - Wasn't it uranium?
不是的 她说的是碱 碱水 No, she said alkaline. Alkaline water.
喝了能维持人体pH值的碱水 Trying to get people's pH balance right.
-我信她个鬼 糟老婆子坏得很 -嗯哼 - I can't believe her. - Mm-hmm.
给她一百块吧 她闺女其实是个死野鸡 Let's keep it one hundred. Her daughter a ho.
就一百 不能再多了 你知道她什么德性吗？ Let's just keep it one hundred. You know who she look like?
看起来像个疯疯癫癫的贝蒂·怀特 She look like a messed-up Betty White.
你知道她什么德性吗？乔治华盛顿第二 You know who she really looked like? George Washington.
没错！她像刚从桂格燕麦盒里出来似的 Yes! Like she straight off the Quaker Oats box.
看着她我就气的冒烟 I just look at her, and I want to start boiling water.
-我去把窗打开 -有点呛 - I got to open the window. - It is kinda smoky.
伙计 我现在就想吃燕麦片啦! Man, I feel like eating some oatmeal right now!
你是不是也饿了 咱们再加点黄油啊红糖啊啥的 You feel me? Put some butter and brown sugar in it.
真的是 馋啦馋啦 Yeah, I got the munchies.
是你肚子叫吗？ Is that your stomach?
是赖德 It's Ryder.
-哈 屋里还有别人 嗨！ - What? - Somebody's here. Hi!
-啊 那我赶紧把烟掐了-别！别掐！我嘬两口！ - Mm. Let me put this out. - Wait, wait, wait.
-行 -美滋滋鸭 - Okay. - Wow.
集美啊 Girl.
-小家伙一点声没出-我知道 - He was so quiet. - I know.
我们一点儿也没注意他在这 We didn't even see him in there at all.
-集美赶紧掐烟吧-哦对 太抱歉l - Girl, put that shit out. - Oh, sorry.
不好！ Ow!
-他喵的嘿 -糟糕 - Damn, girl. - Oh, shit.
天啦噜 Oh, my God.
那个小家伙看着像是在抽烟呢 That baby look like he smoking.
-等一下 等下哈 一小下 一小下下 -天哪 - Wait, wait, wait. Hold up. Hold up. - No.
我来留个念 快看看我的杰作 Let me get this. Look at that.
-看呀看呀 -太不应该了 咱们真是两个坏阿姨 - Look at it. - That's terrible. We're terrible people.
我们才不是坏阿姨 宝宝睡得香着呢 We''yre not terrible people. That baby sleeping good.
这孩子长大了可能是个哲学家 He probably gonna be a philosopher when he grow up.
你不能烦他们呀 想想赖德 他睡得... You shouldn't be sick of them. Just watch Ryder. He sleeps...
我的妈呀 她们来了 赶紧躲躲 Oh, shoot. Here they come. We got to hide.
你得看着宝宝睡觉... You need to see a baby sleep to...
从窗子里跳出去 走 Out the window, let's go.
赶紧的 快点快点 Come on. Come on, come on.
妈耶 Ah!
-啊！-好险 - Ah! - Shoot.
好了 Okay.
我很爱咱们的朋友 但是今天我不想挨批评 I love our friends, but I can't handle the judgment today.
我觉着吧...我可以的 可以跳进泳池里 上！ I think... I can do it. I can jump in the pool. Let's go.
-我们能做到的 -怕怕鸭！我做不到 - We can make it. - Hell, no!
来吧 跳下去 跳就行了 Come on. Let's do it. Let's do it.
-这是...什么味道？烟味吗?凯米！-唉 - What is that... smell? Is that weed? Kim! - Ahh.
怎么回事 竟然有人在这抽大麻 Oh, no, somebody's been smoking weed in here.
谁他喵当孩子面抽大麻？ Who smokes weed in front of a baby?
-金姆-什么情况？ - Kim! - What's going on?
有人在外面吗？ Is somebody out here?
这俩人在他妈的干啥？ What in the literal fuck?
嗨~ Hi.
金姆 宝宝宴真的很不错哟 Kim! Such a beautiful shower.
-看看你们俩干的这事-什么都没干！ - What did you guys do? - Nothing!
对不起嘛 我确信他肯定没吸 I'm so sorry, but I don't think he was inhaling.
-你说什么？-也许只有一点点 - What? - It was just a tiny little bit.
他没呼吸...你是说他在你们抽大麻的时候是死的？ He didn't... My baby was dead for, like, a minute?
才没有！宝宝很好 没嗨 很好 No. Your baby is fine. Not high, nothing.
你们两个刚刚为什么不带我一起？ You guys, why didn't you invite me to smoke with you?
知道吗 我们已经不是学生了 好吗？ You know what? We are not in college anymore, okay?
你们这些臭娘们都比不上我们 明白吗？你们摊上事儿了 None of y'all bitches is better than us, okay? All y'all got issues.
你知道你们哪里比不上我们吗 我们有房子 You know what else we got? We have homes.
因为我们请得起会计师报税 Because we have actual accountants.
而不是只能网上估税！ And not just using TurboTax. The trial disk of TurboTax!
你至少得有完整版吧？还特么是试用版 You should get at least the full version.
-梅尔 你就是垃圾-你离梅尔远点 - Mel, you are a mess. - You stay off of Mel.
听着 她是我的朋友 她人超好 Y'all need to understand, okay, this is my friend, and she is a good person.
要不是她 我们连个店都没有 If it wasn't for her, we wouldn't even have a storefront,
因为她信誉值很好 'cause she got the good credit.
所以别他妈的议论我的姑娘 So don't you talk shit about my friend!
你在搞笑呢？你们这俩可笑的小丑快醒醒吧 Are you fucking kidding me? You clowns need to get your shit together!
-你口吐芬芳？那好呗...-臭娘们！ - Ooh. Well... - bitch!
-你在干啥呢？-宝贝 我可不想弄坏我的假发 - What are you doing? - Girl, I'm not messing up this good hair.
接着 玛格特阿姨 Here you go, Auntie Margot!
咱们走 冲鸭！ We're out of here. Come on, girl!
哇哦 Whoa!
-她的头发不是真的吗？-不是 黑人姑娘都喜欢戴假发 - That's not her real hair? - No, it's a cultural thing.
♪轻轻拍 轻轻拍 噢 耶 ♪ ♪ Flip it, smack it Smack it, ooh, yeah ♪
米娅! Mia!
♪ 你最好把那张烙饼翻一翻 翻一翻 ♪ ♪ You better Flip that flapjack Flip it ♪
♪ 翻一翻♪ ♪ Flip it ♪
♪ 轻轻拍 轻轻拍 翻一翻 轻轻拍 ♪ ♪ Smack it, smack it Flip it, smack it ♪
好吧 真的有点太吵了 Okay, just... too loud.
真的 太吵了 降低百分之十的音量可以吗 Oh, my God, it's so loud. Just 10% less.
-花生MM豆的另一半耶 -你说啥呢 - It's the other half of Peanut M&Ms. - What?
因为你们两个是M和M 而你们伟大的友谊是花生喔 'Cause you're M and M and your friendship is so awesome, it's nuts!
不 哈里 听起来挺甜的 但不是这样的 No, Harry. That's very sweet, but, no.
对不起喔 昨晚我浪叫吵得你睡不着 Sorry if my booty call kept you up last night.
-没有的事 我睡得很好-那就好 - No, I slept fine. - Oh, good.
我要把那儿多余的蛋糕解决掉 I had to work off that extra vagina cake.
嗯哼 就在哈里的顶上~ Mm-hmm. Right on top of Harry.
另外 哈里其实并不是真的那么毛发旺盛 他那么丝滑 像个CPR假人儿 P.S. Harry's not really hairy. He's smooth like a CPR dummy.
他不是我的菜 但是... Not really my type, but...
你知道不 他听得见你在说啥 他还在这儿呢 You know, he can hear you, babe. He's right there.
害 不用 不用在意我 Oh, no. Don't worry about my feelings.
我和米娅真的无话不谈 Mia and I are completely honest with each other.
我们是君子之交 而非狼狈为奸 This is the healthiest relationship I've ever had. No contract.
我真为你俩感到高兴 I'm so happy for both of you.
她只是有点难过自己的成长环境不像现在那么开放自由 She just a little bit bitter because she didn't grow up with open communication.
不是的 我有你母亲的陪伴 她最好啦 No, but I had your mom. And she was the best.
米娅的妈妈超级帅气 She was the coolest, Mia's mom.
-她妈妈什么样的？-超级大毒枭 - What was she like? - Super-duper dope.
其实 这栋房子就是她走后留给我们的 Actually, she left us this house when she passed away.
-爱死你了 妈妈!-我也爱你 - Love you, Ma! - Love you, too, Ma.
那你妈妈是做什么工作的呢 米娅？ What does your mom do, Mel?
-主要是搞搞冰毒-没错 毒师本人 - Meth, mostly. - Yeah, she's a "cook."
但2000年后就金盆洗手了 She's been clean since 2000-never.
她有点黑色幽默 但是我超喜欢的 Her sense of humor's a little dark, but I love it.
能给我来个烤饼嘛兄弟？ Can I get a pancake, bro?
嗯？米娅？解释解释这个男人？ Okay, Mel.
有点意思 我好像不是昨晚唯一一个 Damn, looks like I ain't the only one
得到高潮的人 that got broke off with some dick last night.
-嗨-嗨 - Hi. - Hi.
其实 Hey.
说真的你得走了 因为我要去做礼拜了 Actually, uh, you have to go because I'm going to church.
行吧 不过 我以后可以联系你吗 Oh, okay. Uh, can I call you?
不行喔 但还是要谢谢你 No. But thank you.
-再见-好 - Bye. - Oh.
门在那儿 The door's just there.
好吧 Okay.
该死的 你把他睡了 Damn, you got some dumb dick last night.
-求求了 停 -你们太酷了 - Please. - You guys are so cool.
羡慕你们 我也想这个年纪和兄弟们住在一起 I love the idea of being your age someday and still living with my dudes.
-哈? -集美 我什么也没听到 - Huh? Ouch. - I don't listen to nothing he says, girl.
只看到他性感的嘴在动 I just watch that velvety mouth move
想象着用它做点什么羞羞的事儿 and think about it all in my nooks and crannies.
我们朋友们都成家各自生活了 Our friends have homes, families, lives.
我们还住在一起 会不会很奇怪 Is it weird that we're still roommates?
谁会关心这个 我们就是坏蛋女王 Who cares if we still live together? We are two badass queens,
和神奇女侠一样 我们是同类 like those bitches who raised Wonder Woman. We a tribe.
哦 嗯 确定吗？ Yeah. Right. We are?
没错 Yes!
把事业放在第一位没什么不对 We shouldn't feel guilty about putting our careers first.
男人不也这样吗 We're just acting like men.
累死累活把店开起来了 我们做到了 We've worked our asses off, we've opened our own store. We're winning.
看见了吧 既有黑人姑娘也有白人姑娘 See, black girl, white girl, to show we do both.
肤色对我们来说不是问题 Got it all together.
她们来了 Ah, there they are!
嗨 女士们 Hey, ladies.
小天才回来啦 The geniuses are back!
你今天怎么回事？ You're acting weird.
我正在给乔西展示我们网站上的一些小变化 Oh, well, we were just showing Josh the new changes to the website on Wix.
毕竟他也算是相关人员 Since he's... part of the industry.
抱歉 我们没在招人 Sorry, we're not hiring.
人齐了吗 来点个名吧 Are we all here now? Let's do a roll call.
米娅？梅尔？ Mia? Mel?
很好 Great.
西德尼和巴莱特 And Sydney. Featuring Barret.
那你他妈是哪个？ And who the hell are you?
我代表克莱尔·露娜 I'm here on behalf of Claire Luna.
奥维耶多美妆的克莱尔·露娜？ Oviedo Beauty Claire Luna?
奥维耶多国际集团的克莱尔·露娜 Oviedo Enterprises International Claire Luna.
当然了 Of course.
她一直关注你们的线上销售 Claire's been monitoring your online sales
连续好几个月了 for the last several months.
这个主意 太棒了 And this... is clever.
对吧 一夜情套装 单次使用简单方便 Yes. One Night Stand, our single-use makeup kit you can just throw in your bag.
-我们的畅销产品 -克莱尔非常喜欢 - It's our best seller. - Claire likes this.
所以她想方便的时候 And so she'd like to sit down with you at her earliest convenience to
和你们谈谈投资的事情 discuss investing in your company.
什么？真的吗？ What? Are you serious?
显然 克莱尔很有眼光 Obviously, Claire has excellent taste.
但我们自己开店 就是为了不看别人眼色 But we started this business so that we didn't have to answer to anyone.
劳您费心了 Thank you for stopping by.
还有 你是我见过的最干净的男人了 And you are the cleanest man I've ever seen.
-喜欢就上 -别吧 - You should hit that, B. - Please.
她不是认真的 She's too much.
先别走 稍等 我一会就回来 Give me a second, I'll be right back. Don't leave.
你确实闻起来又干净又新鲜 You really do smell fresh and clean.
你懂的 就好像还没有用来测肛温的体温计一样 You know, like a thermometer before it goes in your butt.
你连见都不想见她？ You don't even want to meet her?
不见 说好不卖的 No. We said we'd never sell out.
我知道每次谈资金 你的眼神就变茫然 I know every time I talk about financials, your eyes glaze over.. .
不 我一直都这样 大麻弄的 你知道的 Nope, I have chronic glazy eye. That's from the weed. We know this.
好吧 我一直不知道如何开口 但是 Right, well, I haven't figured out a way to tell you this:
我们开店以来一直处于亏损状态 We've never really recovered since we opened the store.
别说了 你太小题大做了 Stop it. You're being overly dramatic.
米娅 如果继续这样下去 我们撑不过半年 Mia, if we keep going like this, we're gonna have to close in six months.
搞什么 你还在这养鸟？ What the hell? Y'all got birds in here?
这是无人机 别介意 一个追求者送克莱尔的 Don't mind the drones, they're a gift from an admirer of Claire's.
我不能说他的名字 I'm not supposed to tell anyone who it is.
推特的杰克·多尔西 Jack Dorsey. Of Twitter.
噢 说没说都一样 Ooh. It's still like you didn't tell anyone,
因为我根本不知道这他妈是谁 'cause I don't know who the hell that is.
我们就不该来 We shouldn't be here.
你难道希望关门大吉吗？ You want to just let our store close?
有那么严重吗 Is it really that bad?
停 我不想知道 You know what, don't tell me.
好吧 我不说 Okay, I won't tell you.
算了 你说吧 我能接受 说吧 Okay, tell me. I can handle it. Come on. Bring it.
我们有493000美金的贷款 We're $493,000 in debt.
卧槽？ What the fuck?
抱歉 我知道我做的不够好 对不起 I'm sorry. I know I've let us down. I'm sorry.
我一直不知道该怎么和你说 It's hard for me to tell you these things.
别说了 我们会撑过去的 Stop it. We'll figure this out.
一起面对 好不好 Together. Okay?
-别过来！ -你在干嘛啊到底 - Aah! - What are you doing? What did you do?
它先动手的 你干嘛说我？ He attacked me first! Why are you taking his side?
我们会惹上麻烦的 你干什么 她在看着呢 We're gonna get in trouble. Why did you do it? She's looking at us!
-放你钱包里 -什么？ - Put that in your purse. - What?
放进去 你是白人 不会进监狱的 Put it in your purse. You a white woman. You will not go to jail.
-根本不是一码事 -装包里 - Two different laws. - Put it in.
白人有特权 你不会有事 You got that white privilege. You won't get no jail time.
放那就行 Just leave it like that.
-要我一会再过来吗 -不不不 - Should I come back another time? - No, no, no.
我在做拉伸 不好意思 我小腿有点酸 I was just having a little stretch. I'm so sorry, I have a tight calf.
早上跑了个马拉松 I ran a marathon this morning.
挺溜啊 Smooth.
克莱尔有空就会过来 Claire will be with you when she wants to be.
天 她有个Wegner Swivel的椅子 Oh, my God, she has a Wegner Swivel Chair.
一万美金的椅子 That's a $10,000 chair.
一万美金的椅子 蠢哭了 - That is so stupid. - $10,000.
太傻X了 It's stupid!
你们好 了不起的姑娘们 Hello, you fabulous women.
梅尔·佩奇和米娅·卡特 Mel Paige and Mia Carter.
两次亚特兰大商业女性代表 Two-time "Atlanta Small Businesswomen to Watch."
上个月线上营业额21000美元 $21,000 in online sales last month.
还是22年的好闺蜜！ Best friends for 22 years!
真棒 Impressive.
我是克莱拉·露娜 I'm Clara Luna...
名字是皎白明月的意思 which means "Clear Brilliant Moon."
字面意思是明月 隐含意思是皎白 The literal translation is "Clear Moon." The "Brilliant" is implied.
不过叫我克莱尔就行 But you can just call me Claire.
很荣幸见到你 It's such an honor to meet you.
我很荣幸才对 The honor is always all mine.
挖掘到你 我特别骄傲 I am so proud I found you.
不是你发掘的 我们之前就来过 You didn't find anything. We've been here.
噢 米娅 Ooh, Mia!
泼辣 You're spicy.
我喜欢 I like it.
不好意思 Oh, I'm so sorry.
我的手机响了 不好意思 My phone is... buzzing. I apologize.
它 That was...
不好意思 有点吵 It's very loud. I'm sorry.
我去！ Ow! Ooh!
奇怪 That's weird.
是这样 它刚刚撞到了... See, what happened was it was flying and it hit...
帅不帅？ Was that hot?
-当然 -帅呆了 - Sure. - Yes!
你喜欢打高尔夫吗 Are you a golfer?
也不 就是手上拿点东西玩玩罢了 Oh, no. It's just something to fiddle with.
有人玩牙签 小朋友玩鼻涕 一样的 Some people do it with toothpicks, the kids with their boogers...
-有的成年人也玩鼻涕 -闭嘴 - Some grown-ups with the boogers, too. - Shh.
你们俩很合适这里 You two belong here.
我非常原意帮助广大女性走上和我一样的道路 I want to send women on the same incredible journey.
克莱尔 我们的品牌对我们来说意义重大 Look, Claire, our brand has value to us.
我们希望女性认识到她们的美是与生俱来的 We want women to realize that they're already beautiful,
而不是通过修饰或者遮掩来实现的 not that they have to paint it on or cover it up.
我们希望她们能由内而外绽放光彩 We want them to shine from the inside out.
明白吗 Understand?
太懂了 More than you think.
你觉得我不能理解你的初衷 You think I don't understand where you're coming from.
但我远比你以为的理解要更理解 But I understand more than you understand I understand.
梅尔 像你一样 我也是白手起家 Mel, like you, I come from broke beginnings.
米娅 和你一样 我对配色充满热情 And, Mia, like you, I have a passion for mixing color.
我们都是靠自己壮大事业 We both started our own business all on our own.
我脸上也有一个痦子 和你一样 And I have a mole on my face, just like you do.
我希望你也能感受到 I want you to feel the bliss
看着自己的产品陈列在高端商店的那种快乐 of looking at your products displayed in a high-end store.
希望你们看着自己的银行账户 I want to see your reaction when you are looking at your bank account...
切实感受到作为百万富翁的感觉 and you realize you're millionaires.
呵 那我一定要骑到富国银行的脖子上拉屎 Man, I would shit right in the middle of the Wells Fargo.
哈 Oh.
你想干啥都行 Okay.
我不会真那么做 I wouldn't do that.
听好了 Well, get ready.
我帮你们偿清债务来买下你们公司51%的产权 I'm going to pay for your debt completely for 51% of your company.
并且 我会在我的发布晚会上 And I want to introduce the Mia & Mel line for Oviedo
公开介绍你们的品牌 at my upcoming launch party.
如果进展顺利 And if that goes well,
我会再投资170万美元 I am going to invest an additional $1.7 million on you.
你真的是救命女神 You're literally saving our lives. I...
我能抱你一下吗了？ Can I give you a hug, please?
不行 别抱 我们不接受这个提议 Nope, no hugs. We're not taking that offer.
这样她会控制我们公司的 这不是我们想要的 She is gonna control our company. And that's not what we're about.
抱歉 那请你等我们...一会儿 Okay, if you could just excuse us for... uno momento.
-求你了 你相信我么？ -我是不相信这个婊砸 - Please. Do you trust me? - I don't trust this bitch.
我们没得选 We don't have the choice.
我一眼就能看穿她的伎俩 她目的不纯 I know a lace front when I see it. That is not her hair.
求你了 米娅 相信我 -不 不 不 - Please, Mia, trust me. - No, no, no.
我们不能这么做！ We can't do it!
我和我好朋友讨论了一下 My best friend and I discussed it.
答案是...tm的不行 The answer is... hell no.
好吧 Okay.
我要放大招了 I'm gonna do something I've never done,
因为你俩值得 but I think you two are worth it.
我就拿49% 你们还是最大股东 I will take only 49%, and you maintain controlling interest.
可以了？ Happy?
还是不行 I still don't like that.
您可以给我们点时间考虑考虑 讨论一下么？ If you could please just give us a little time to think it over and talk about it?
好 毕竟事关重大 Okay. It's a big decision.
不用急着决定 Don't rush it.
她明天要结果 She'll need an answer by tomorrow.
所以... So...
我一点儿都不想谈克莱尔的事儿 I don't want to talk about any more of this Claire Luna stuff.
那我们不聊那个 Let's not talk about it then.
悠着点儿 车神！ 我们tm的要去哪儿？ Hold it, Baby Driver! Where the hell we going?
气氛太紧绷了 我们得喝一杯 That was intense. We need a drink.
嗨歌之夜 It's karaoke night.
为什么让他们要51%股份？ Why did you give them 51% stake in the company?
策略啊 乔希 Strategy, Josh.
我会从她们手里得到我想要的一切 And I'm gonna get everything I want from those girls.
只要一谈钱 死党也会成塑料姐妹花 'Cause no one stays besties once money comes in.
有钱能使鬼推磨 Money changes everything.
如果钱不行...那我来 And if it doesn't... I will.
你真是个狠人 You're a bitch.
-谢谢夸奖 -不客气哈 - Thank you. - You're welcome.
给两位美女的蜜桃鸡尾酒 All right, two Peach Cîrocs for my two roadside peaches.
-谢了 -干杯 朋友们 - Oh, thanks. - Cheers, guys.
干杯 Cheers.
米娅 这是我们这辈子都在等的机会 Mia, it's like we've sacrificed our whole lives for a chance like this.
这就是你说的不提她？ So this is you not talking about Claire Luna.
我是在说百年一遇的机会 This is me talking about a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
下面来的两位女士 Our next two ladies.
有请米娅和梅尔！ Please welcome Mia and Mel!
-你认真的么？ -我们好久没这么玩了 - Are you serious? - We haven't done this one for a while.
大姐！ Girl!
来吧 米娅 唱起来！ Come on, Mia, sing!
唱起来 姑娘！ Come on, girl!
♪ 爱把我们带到属于我们的地方 ♪ ♪ Love lift us up Where we belong ♪
小妞 我知道你什么目的 Girl, I know what you're trying to do.
我们付出了那么多才达到如今的地步！ We have worked our asses off to get here!
♪那里有苍鹰鸣叫♪ ♪ Where the eagles cry ♪
♪在崇山峻岭之上♪ ♪ On a mountain high ♪
-如果我们被控制怎么办？ -♪克莱尔会把我们带到属于我们的地方 ♪ - What if we lose our freedom? - ♪ Claire will lift us up Where we belong ♪
别傻站着 跟我一起唱 Don't stand there and karaoke me.
♪ 远离我们所熟知的世界 ♪ ♪ Far from the world we know ♪
♪ 那里清风拂面 ♪ ♪ Where the clear winds blow ♪
你知道自己疯球了 对吧？ You know you tripping, right?
这是我们十几岁时就有的梦想 We've dreamed of this since we were teenagers.
不 那是你的梦想 No, you've dreamed of this since we were teenagers.
我的梦想是当老板 I just wanted to be a boss.
你收留我 救了我 现在是我报答你的时候了 You saved my life when you took me in. Now let me pay you back.
你知道么？ You know what?
好吧 去tm的 干吧 Okay, fuck it. Let's do it.
我们一起干 只求你别唱了 让我们一飞冲天吧！ Let's do it. Long as you stop singing. Let's blow the fuck up!
-哇哦！ 耶！ -我们要上天！ - Whoo! Yeah! - Let's blow this makeup up!
你们好 姑娘们 Hello, ladies.
你们知道"略施粉黛"的格莱格和罗恩么？ 格莱格 罗恩 她们是... Do you know Greg and Ron from Get Some? Greg and Ron, these are...
来自米娅&梅尔公司的米娅和梅尔 无需介绍 Mia and Mel from Mia & Mel. No introduction needed.
我们关注你们的Instagram 你们真是太有... We follow you on Insta, and you are such an inspa...
...才了 ...ration.
你们也是做美妆的么？ And you are in cosmetics as well?
-是啊 -有点儿奇怪哈？ 俩直男？ - Yeah. - Weird, right? Two straight dudes?
看见你们的第一眼我以为你们是基佬 We thought you were gay immediately.
-谢谢你 谢了 -太感谢了 - Thank you, thank you. - Thank you so much.
我们认为美妆业需要新视角来开发女士美妆 We feel the beauty industry needed fresh eyes on women's makeup.
-打破某些传统 -说真的 好吗？ - Shatter some myths. - Let's just be real, right?
女为谁人容？ Who are women trying to make themselves look beautiful for?
-她们自己 -对方 - Themselves. - Each other.
男人 Men.
-呃 -听起来可能不咋样 - Mmm. - It might not sound woke,
但我们就想走真实路线 but we're just trying to be authentic.
现代女性承认...她们想要性 想性感 Modern women admit... they want sex, and they want to look hot.
所以我们的广告语简明扼要： That's why our slogan is simple and to the point:
-“略施粉黛让你火辣性感“ -火辣性感 - "Get some. Look hot." - Look hot.
是够简单的 That is simple.
感谢各位 你们可以走了 Thank you very much, guys. You know your way out.
-再见 谢谢 爱你们 -请进 女士们 - Ladies. Claire, thanks. Love you. - Come on in, ladies.
虽是榆木脑袋 但是他们非常有野心 Those guys are knuckleheads, but they are very ambitious.
我也在考虑投资他们 看看吧 I'm thinking of buying their company, too. We'll see.
这样 女士们 再多一个条件 Okay, ladies, just one more provision.
进下来的进程会很紧张 以我的经验 This is gonna be a really intense process. And, in my experience,
生意和友情无法兼容 business and friendship don't always mix.
我想说的是 I guess what I'm trying to say is
如果你们的伙伴关系出现问题... if your partnership gets into any kind of trouble during this process...
比如其中一位要退出公司 if one of you quits the company,
我就拿51%的股份 I will take 51% controlling interest.
不可能的 我们初中开始就是闺蜜 That's never gonna happen. We've been best friends since middle school,
友谊有助于生意 and our friendship makes our business better.
没错 我们好得不得了 Yep, we rock solid.
所以你的小脑瓜不用担心 So you don't have to worry your pretty little head.
我脑袋不小 只是我“波”涛汹涌 My head is not little. It's just that my breasts are humongous.
我也这么觉得 That's just what I was thinking.
我的天！ OMG!
恭喜 Congratulations.
我们现在来庆祝一下 Now we celebrate.
来吧 米娅 Come on, Mia.
停 好了 我们庆祝完了 Please stop. Okay. We celebrated.
发布晚会在六周后 The launch party is in six weeks.
我要你们回去准备个演讲 主要讲解你们的品牌 I need you to come back with a presentation for what your company brand
将成为我的副线品牌... 明天给我看 will be under my banner... mañana.
当然 没问题 Of course. No problemo.
我们没问题 谢谢 We got this. Thank you.
哟 哟 哟 这是卖公司得来的么？ Well, well, well. Is this what those Claire Luna coins gets us?
你们不用送这么高级的礼物 但我喜欢 You didn't have to get us such fancy gifts, but I love it.
我们想送 这对我们所有人来说都很重要 We wanted to. This is a big moment for all of us.
没有你们 就没有我们 We wouldn't be here without you guys.
古驰 古驰 酷！ Gucci, Gucci, goo!
美爆了 Gorgeous.
好了 所以 Okay. So,
我们要怎么重新包装品牌？ how are we gonna rebrand for Claire?
我们的故事是什么？ What is our story?
我是个离了婚 喜欢宠物的人 用我的 I'm a divorced pet lover. Use mine.
西德尼 爱你 喜欢你的故事 Sydney. Love you. Love your story.
但我觉得我们就应该用我们真实的经理 知道吧？ But I think we should just stick with our own story, you know? Keep it real.
我们不能告诉克莱尔 We can't go back to Claire and tell her
我们想出来的就是...保持真实 what we've come up with is we're just... keeping it real.
我们得试试新鲜的 加点料 We need to try something new. Let's zhuzh it up a bit.
-你刚是不是说了“撒料”？ -我们得加点料儿！ - Did you just say "zhuzh"? - We got to zhuzh it up!
-斯-斯-撒料？ -可别撒秃噜了 - Zh-zh-zhuzh? - Don't be so zhuzh-mental.
斯！ Zhh!
集中点儿！ Let's focus up!
斯 斯 Zhh. Zh.
我们做的哪些是克莱尔想要的？ What is the intersection between what Claire wants and what we do?
-好好想想 姑娘 -我们需要你 米娅 - Come on, girl. - We need you, Mia.
你肯定有好想法 姐们儿 You know you the idea woman.
好主意不是逼出来的 Look, good ideas do not come to me if they are forced.
得有个过程 I have a process.
-我们出去浪吧 -得了吧 大姐 你要干啥？ - Let's go out. - Please. Girl, what?
哈利要开个生日派对 Harry's throwing a last-minute birthday party.
我们可以去凑个热闹 喝点 We could swing by there, have one drink,
然后我可以送他生日礼物 and then I can give him his birthday present.
我们明天有演讲 非常重要 We've got a presentation tomorrow. This is seriously important homework.
那里有年轻姑娘 There'll be young girls there.
我们可以问问她们 也许会有什么好的启发呢 We could ask them some questions, maybe come up with some ideas.
全天持久珠光散粉 How about day-to-night opalescent powder
起名叫“闪耀脸庞” 怎么样？ called "Sparkly Face"?
那我去给哈利送生日礼物怎么样 How about I got to give Harry his birthday gift,
然后你问一下那些人是怎么做的 so you ask some of these other people what they do with their makeup.
-我马上回来 -米娅 我不... - I'll be right back. - Mia, I can't...
我们没时间了！ We don't have time!
生日快乐 Happy birthday.
拜托 我们要做快点 梅尔和我有其他事要做 Come on, we got to make this fast, 'cause Mel and I got work to do.
我为你们感到开心 我已经笑了一整天了 I'm so excited for you guys. I've been smiling all day.
你每天都这样 快点吧 You always smile all day. Now, come on.
这太疯狂了 这… 不要说话！ - This is crazy, this is cra... - No conversation!
你们年轻人就喜欢解说自己的狗屁人生！ You young people always trying to narrate your whole damn life!
就像在Instagram上直播爱爱 It's like having sex with somebody on Instagram Live.
嘿 嘿! - Hey. - Hey!
可爱的女孩们 You girls are so cute.
能给我讲讲我你的妆容么 Tell me about your makeup.
实际上什么都没画 只涂了防晒霜和唇膏 Actually don't wear any. Just sunscreen and lip plump.
得了吧！我看到你脸上打暗影了 Get out! I think I see some shadow there.
你是梅丽莎的妈妈么？ 滚蛋！ 是你吧？ - Are you Melissa's mom? - Fuck off! Are you?
你呢 金吉尔？ What about you, Ginger?
我所有的化妆品都是半永久的 All my makeup is semi-permanent.
哎哟 跟什么都没说一样！ Ouch. Thanks for nothing!
不敢相信你因为那个家伙 丢下我一个人！ I can't believe you left me to go and look for that guy!
我知道 我坏透了 离近看他也太矮了 I know. I'm the worst. He was so much shorter up close.
远处看他也很矮 He was short from far away.
嘿 姑娘 你去哪了？ Hey, girl. Where have you been?
抱歉 花了这么久 但我正在为所有未来的女人摧毁哈利 Sorry it took me so long, but I was destroying Harry for all future women.
是蘸酱吗？ 不 这是牧场调料 - Is that dip? - No, it's ranch dressing.
百吉饼片！ 你真是我的英雄！ - Bagel chips! - Hero!
真高兴有你在 I am so glad I found you.
真奇怪 整个世界都那么可怕 It's weird how scary the whole world can be.
然后只要那个最重要的人在你身边 你就会觉得 我很好 And then your person shows up, and you're like, "I'm good."
而且我们的眼睛是怎么做到如同有生命的摄像头 And how, like, our eyes are just wet security cameras in our head...
只用来搜集数据 gathering just data.
我想我抽的有点多了 我也是 - I think I smoked too much. - Yeah.
感谢上帝我并不是一个人 有你在真好 Thank God I'm not alone. I'm really glad you're here.
我一直都在 Always.
你是我的生死至交 我会永远都在的 You're my ride or die. I'm always here for you.
就像你也会这样对我一样 Like you for me.
记得我母亲去世的时候吗？ Remember when my mom passed?
如果没有你 我根本挺不过葬礼 I wouldn't have made it through that funeral without you.
所有人都来跟我说 如果有什么我能为你做的... Everyone coming up to me, "If there's anything I can do for you..."
在他们发现我真的需要帮忙时他们却走开了 And they'd walk away before they find out if I needed anything.
然后这时你来了 带着四个麦香鱼三明治 And then here you come, with them four Filet-O-Fish sandwiches.
夹着酸黄瓜 With pickles.
咸的要命的薯条 Them salty-ass french fries.
还有摩根船长巧克力奶昔 And the chocolate shakes spiked with the Captain Morgan's.
这正是我需要的 That was exactly what I needed.
很幸运我们有了彼此 We so lucky we got each other.
我们应该搞些薯条778 We should get some french fries.
我知道了 什么？ - I got it. - What?
我知道我们要怎么做了 I know what we can do.
克莱尔 卢娜会喜欢的 And Claire Luna's gonna love it.
但我们还是先吃点薯条吧 But first, let's get them french fries.
嘿 我叫米娅 你呢？ Hey. My name is Mia. What's yours?
艾莉 杰西 - Ellie. - Jess.
告诉我 你们爱对方什么？ Tell me, what do you guys love about each other?
这个？ 是的 - This one? - Yeah.
或者不 这个 点击 跳过 - Or no, this one. - Tap. Just make it go.
你们在哪里认识的？ 老实说 万圣节派对 - Where did you meet? - It was actually a Halloween party.
哦 你当时穿成什么样子？ Oh, what were you dressed as?
这是命运 我们总共五个人 Destiny's Child, but there was five of us.
我们希望我们的产品能让你们觉得 We want our products to make you feel like
你正好在人群中找到了你的命中注定 you just found your person in the crowd.
幸福 安全 Happy and safe.
不管你看到自己有多少缺点 No matter how much you see your flaws,
而你生命里最重要的人总是站在那里 提醒你 your person is always standing there, reminding you:
你很美 you are beautiful.
我们要创造的流行主导线 是突显最美好的部分 We want to create a line that, instead of hiding your flaws,
而不是隐藏你的缺点 boosts your best parts.
我们称之为 骄傲 We call it "Proud."
骄傲的玛丽？ "Proud Mary"?
这是我祖母最爱的歌 My grandma used to play it all the time.
她说 这是女性准备好变强的声音 She said, "That's the voice of a woman that's ready to turn up the great."
我们希望它成为我们的主题曲 We want it to be our anthem.
她的眉毛总是看起来很完美 你看它们！ Her eyebrows always look perfect. Look at 'em!
我喜欢她的皮肤 因为它毫无瑕疵 就像 我最好的朋友没有缺点 I love her skin because it's flawless. Like, my best friend has no flaws.
她有小酒窝 非常可爱 And she has dimples, they're so cute.
她有天生的眉毛 不用修饰 She has natural eyebrows, she doesn't have to fill 'em in.
快速部分还没到你就关掉 骄傲的玛丽了？ 你怎么能这么干？ How could you turn off "Proud Mary" before the fast part? Who does that?
你们全搞砸了 This is the opposite direction to what you should be heading.
都错了！ This is all wrong!
太多愁善感 太伤感 太俗气了 Too sentimental. Mushy. It's cheesy.
恶心 粗俗 Sappish. Cornish.
一点都不性感 Not sexy at all.
抱歉 我想米娅只是想... Sorry, I think Mia was just thinking...
抱歉 我们只是觉得最完美的友情 I'm sorry... We were just thinking that the best kind of relationships
和最完美的妆容就是让你感觉到美 and the best kind of makeup make you feel beautiful.
亲爱的 你的这种想法根本没有市场 Then stitch that on a pillow, honey, and sell it on Etsy.
我要求能够挑战自我 I am asking you to push yourselves to the edge.
我要你们怒气冲冲！ I want you to be fierce!
看看你们能够走多远？ How far are you willing to go?
很远！我们能走很远 Far! We can go far.
我知道我们很凶 我们太凶了！ I know we're fierce. We're totally fierce!
前往各地 这就是我们成为朋友的原因 - Down to go places. - That's why we're friends.
我们将把你推想边缘 We're gonna push you to the edge.
那种前进一步就是深渊的地步 So afraid you gonna fall off. But you're not.
你不会 你不会 你只会美的无与伦比 - You're not. - You're not. You're gonna fall into beauty.
要做到这点 你就得挑战自我！ - And be beautiful. - And you're gonna push it!
就像 凶猛的美女 没错 - And, like, fierce beauty. - Yeah.
我们在卖动物饼干吗？ Are we selling animal cookies?
我需要你们变得凶猛 这样才能激励丑陋的人 I need you to be fierce yourself so that you can inspire the ugly people
花钱把自己变漂亮！ to buy themselves into gorgeousness!
聆听这个世界 Listen to the word:
猛烈点 Fierst.
什么鬼？ What is it saying to you?
我听到 恐惧 然后 呃 I hear "fear" then "erst."
我听的也是 I hear that, too.
猛烈点 Fierst.
猛烈点 猛烈点 - Fierst. - Fierst.
猛烈点 Fierst.
小声点 Now whisper it.
在内心里感受它 Feel it inside you.
猛烈点 猛烈点 Fierst. Fierst.
刺耳的 出乎意料 令人兴奋 Jarring. Unexpected. Exhilarating.
那才是猛烈 That's fierst.
你们能做到吗？ Can you be fierst?
额 额 能 我们能试试 - Uh-huh. - Yes, we can certainly try.
把我的车和包准备好！ Get the car and my purse!
好了 姑娘们 就这俩还能入眼 Okay, girls, this is what you do well.
其它的 不行 The rest of it... no.
但你只选了口红和粉底 But you've only chosen lipstick and foundation.
是 而且你说你喜欢我们的一夜情套装的 Yeah, and you said you loved our One Night Stand.
那是因为放在几年前这是个好主意 That's because it was a fabulous idea when it came out years ago.
现在它过时了 你得跟上时代节奏 Now it's boring. You need to evolve.
那正是我要说的 确切地说 她懂了 - That's what I've been saying. - Exactly. She gets it.
我需要新的令人激动的好主意 I need a new exciting idea.
现在！ Now!
任何人！不要只是等米娅 梅尔 Anyone! Don't just wait for Mia, Mel.
嗯 好的 嗯... Uh, well, um...
关于… How about a...
一支定制的双面口红怎么样 你可以选择... custom-blended two-sided lipstick, and you can pick...
无论哪种颜色都适合你的心情 whichever shade fits your mood.
嗯 Mmm.
没错 没错 - Yes. - Yes.
这就是我想从你身上找到的那种原汁原味的创意 That's the kind of creative juice I'm looking for out of you.
优秀的原汁原味 你继续 Great juices. You follow that.
跟着你的原汁原味 梅尔 Follow your juices, Mel.
是的 梅尔 跟着你的原汁原味 Yeah, Mel, follow your juices.
嘿 Hey.
好了 对我尊重点 你对我尊重点 - Okay, just be respectful. - You be respectful.
我不跟你争论了 我也不跟你争论了 - I'm not arguing with you. - I'm not arguing with you, either.
你们需要私下打架还是我数到十？ Do you need to fight in private or shall I count to ten?
数到十 因为我还有很多话要说 Count to ten, because I got more shit to say.
她在帮我们改进 She's trying to help us evolve.
我们是什么 波克蒙？ 不是 嘿 嘿 - What are we, Pokémons? - No. Hey. Hey.
放轻松 我不是在和你吵架 Relax. I'm not arguing with you.
我只是说我不喜欢那样 I'm just saying I don't like that.
你好！ Hello!
你知道... You know...
吵架不总是坏事 fighting isn't always bad.
我以前和我丈夫爱爱...非常完美的爱爱... I used to have sex with my husband... just amazing sex...
在我们吵架后 after we fought.
然后他开始跟他自己爱爱 And then he started having amazing sex with himself.
当然 And, well,
我们不再吵架了 我们的婚姻也玩完了 you know, then we stopped fighting and now we're not married.
嗯… Mmm. Mm, mm, mmm.
你一小时能做多少？ How many can you do in an hour?
大约75 Around 75.
但我不会那样做 因为我不爱炫耀 But I don't. Because I'm not showy.
我能做30万 并且我的确做到了 I can do 300,000, and I do.
但我很高兴看到 But it's so nice to see that
现在还有人仍然用手工调制 there are actual artisans that still work with their hands.
这太有情调了 It's so romantic.
谢谢你 巴利 Thank you, Barry.
巴雷特 Barret.
你得炒了他 什么？ - You have to fire him. - What?
我们不能这么做 我们也不会这么做 - We can't do that. - We not gonna do that.
我现在要大量生产你们的产品 I'm gonna be mass producing your products now.
遗憾的是 他过时了 Sadly, he's obsolete.
恕我直言 他是和我们一起创业的 With all due respect, he built this business with us.
你知道我刚开始我的事业的时候有个伙伴吗？ Did you know that I had a partner when I started out?
谢伊·惠特莫尔 Shay Whitmore.
乔希! 别提那个名字 Josh! We don't say that name.
我在大学里遇到那个女人 That woman and I met in college.
他们是新生室友 乔希! - They were freshmen roommates. - Josh!
到底是谁的故事？你的 - Whose story is it anyway? - It's yours.
我们是最好的朋友 在生意上合作了12年 We were best friends and in business for 12 years.
然而后来我不得不解雇她 And then I had to fire her.
妈的 真是冷酷无情 Damn, that's some coldhearted shit.
如果你想成为女强人 你将不得不做出许多艰难的决定 If you want to be businesswomen, you'll have to make many tough decisions.
他必须得离开 He's got to go.
对不起 这对我来说真的很难 I'm sorry. This is just really hard for me.
这对我来说也不容易 我们别做了 It's not easy for me, either. Let's just not do it, then.
可你也听到克莱尔说的话了 对吗 No, you heard what Claire said, okay?
这对你来说比较容易 你更刻薄 所以应该你去做 It's easier for you. That's why you should do it. You're meaner.
你也刻薄 只不过你都藏在心里 You're meaner on the inside!
就像你体内住着一个小小的克拉布斯先生 It's like you got a little Mr. Krabs living inside of you.
你说得对 你说得对 You're right. You're right.
我的确是刻薄不明显 I'm secretly meaner.
这芝麻菜好吃极了 This arugula is good as hell.
你知道他们在欧洲叫做 火箭 吗？ You know they call it "rocket" in Europe?
那是什么鬼？ What the fuck is that?
是芝麻菜 亲爱的 听起来好多了 对吧 It's arugula, honey. That sounds better, right?
梅尔 你有什么想说的吗 Mel, don't you have something you want to say?
巴雷特... Barret...
怎么了？ What?
说吧 说出来 说出来吧 梅尔 - Go ahead, spit it out. - Yeah, spit it out, Mel.
巴雷特… 嗯 - Barret... - Uh-huh.
我只是...我想... I just... I wanted to...
巴雷特 我要…我…我想说的是… Barret, I'm gonna... I... What I wanted to say...
是… That was...
我… I...
我喜欢你的西装 I love your suit.
噢 谢谢 Oh, thank you!
我穿格子花呢的确很好看 I do look good in a tartan plaid, right?
巴雷特…我们爱你 Barret... we love you.
但你被解雇了 You're fired.
什么？ What?
但… But...
梅尔？ Mel?
他们把我们的生产外包出去了 我们很抱歉 They're outsourcing our production. We're sorry.
哦 我的老天 哦 我的老天 Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
你知道吗？ You know what?
我就知道会发生这种事 你们两个都去死吧 I knew this shit was gonna happen. Fuck the both of you!
别恨我 恨梅尔 这是她的想法 Don't hate me, hate Mel. It was her idea.
你在说什么 是的 是你的主意 就是你的主意 - What are you talking about? - Yes, it was your idea. It was your idea.
哦,好的 我知道她只不过看起来厉害 Oh, okay. I knew this one was a pickled beast.
但你 梅尔？ But you, Mel?
你想炒了我 然后让米娅去做？ You want to fire me, and you make Mia do it?
为你感到耻辱 Shame on your house.
等等! 解雇你不是我的主意 我保证 Wait! Firing you is not my idea. I promise.
如果你没有逼我同意克莱尔在我们公司指手划脚 We wouldn't even be here
我们也不会走到眼下的处境 had you not pushed me into letting Claire do a grab job on our company.
她挽救了我们即将破产的公司 She saved our company, which was about to go broke!
是啊 现在一切都那么美好 Oh, yeah, and everything's so fantastic now.
不 现在啥事都不顺 嘿 嘿 嘿 - No, nothing's fantastic now. - Hey, hey, hey.
嘿！都闭嘴 Hey! Shut it.
见证……我的…悲剧……时刻 Witness... my... tragic... moment!
生日快乐 宝贝儿 Happy birthday, baby.
祝我生日快乐！生日快乐 - Happy birthday to me! - Happy birthday.
生日快乐 吉尔 谢谢你 - Happy birthday, Jill. - Thank you!
爱你 I love you.
非常感谢你们为我的生日所做的一切 Thank you guys so much for doing this for my birthday.
哦,我的上帝 宝贝 我愿意为你做任何事 Oh, my God. Baby, anything.
女士们 如果说我在做酸橘汁腌鱼的过程中学到了什么的话 Ladies, if there's one thing I have learned in my ceviche journey,
那就是香菜适量 it's that it's all about the right amount of cilantro.
是我的问题 还是和克莱尔·卢娜一起工作让你们觉得很有趣 Is it just me, or has working with Claire Luna made y'all fancy?
因为我有一种奇特的感觉 'Cause I'm getting a fancy vibe.
她是个令人印象深刻的人 她搞了德雷克 She's a very impressive person. She fucked Drake.
真的吗 别说了 好吗 - Is that true? - Just stop, okay?
因为你会让梅尔嫉妒 因为她想上克莱尔·露娜 Because you are gonna make Mel jealous, because she wants to fuck Claire Luna.
哦 好吧 - Oh. - Okay!
你给我们展示了 Well, you sure showed us.
很抱歉我们曾经怀疑过你的选择 We are just so sorry that we ever doubted your choices.
真为你骄傲 谢谢 - So proud of you. - Thank you.
我从来没有怀疑过 是的 主要是我 - I never did doubt it. - Yeah, it was mostly me.
我得说我在房间里到处找这些酸橘汁腌鱼 I just have to say that I am looking around the room at these ceviches
他们看起来都很漂亮 但是梅尔 你的是最漂亮的 and they all look beautiful, but Mel, yours looks best of all.
我很感激 布鲁克 谢谢你！ I appreciate that, Brook. Thank you.
看看 那位女士在夸梅尔做的酸橘汁腌鱼 Look at that, the lady in charge complimenting Mel's ceviche!
你也会吸她的老二吗？ You gonna suck her dick, too?
我对吮吸布鲁克的老二不感兴趣 I'm not interested in sucking Brook's dick.
我觉得你只是嫉妒 因为克莱尔更喜欢我 I think you're just jealous because Claire likes me more.
噢… Ooh.
我们把注意力移到辣椒上 好吗？ Why don't we move it on to the chile rellenos, shall we?
第一步 我们要加一点奶酪 Step one, we want to add a little cheese.
第二 我真的没有老二 And step two, I actually don't have a penis.
但如果你有 我们会吸它 But if you did, we would suck it.
啊 她已经超过法定尺度了 Yeah, she's over the legal limit.
事实上 我为梅尔感到高兴 Actually, I'm very happy for Mel.
她终于找到了一个比我更喜欢她的人 She finally found someone that likes her more than me.
哦 孩子 成功改变了你 - Ooh, boy. - Success has changed you.
它改变了一些东西 这是肯定的 It's changed something, that's for sure.
我本可以表现得更震惊 但我打了太多的肉毒素 I would express more shock, but I've had so much Botox.
好吧 也许是时候升级了 Okay, it might be time to kick it up a notch.
所以 我碰巧带了一些鬼椒 So, I happened to bring with me some ghost peppers.
我会把它们分下去 女士们 我告诉你们 它们很辣 I will pass them around. Ladies, I'm telling you, they are very spicy.
放一点点就会特别辣 Just a little sliver goes a long way.
等等 等一下也许你该给克莱尔打电话 Wait, hold up. Maybe you want to call Claire
请她允许用鬼椒 and ask her permission to use a ghost pepper.
克莱尔 你好 在吗？ Claire? Hello? Are you on the line?
成熟点 行吗 小姐 Just call me when you grow up, okay, Mi?
哦 等我长大了？哦 我很成熟 我真的长大了 Oh, when I grow up? Oh, I'm grown. I'm real grown.
你才是那个爱哭的人 你是那个一直在哭的人 You the one that's the crybaby. You the one that cries all the time.
噢 噢 Oh, oh.
你为什么不打电话给克莱尔 对着克莱尔哭 Why don't you call Claire and cry to Claire?
去 对着克莱尔哭 Go cry to Claire.
假哭会让我分泌乳酸 但这很好 The fake crying is gonna make me lactate, but this is great.
米娅不会让我拍你马屁的 "Mia won't let me kiss your ass."
我觉得他们真的很生对方的气 我们是不是应该做点什么 I think they're really mad at each other. Shouldn't we do something?
不! 我从来没见过成年人能在一分钟内就对彼此大发脾气的呢 No! I have not seen adults be shitty to each other in a minute.
这比看小婊砸凯露精彩多了 This is better than watching that little bitch Caillou!
凯露是谁 Who the fuck is Caillou?
他是尼克罗顿频道的童星 一个蠢货 He's this kid on Nickelodeon. Fucking idiot.
我们为什么不把它搬到客厅去呢 Why don't we actually move it on into the living room
来点麦斯卡尔和龙舌兰？ for some mezcal and some tequila?
好啊! Yeah!
是的! 不管怎样 布鲁克都是我的最爱 - Yeah! - Dick or no dick, I love that Brook!
哇! 这可不是老二 - Whoo! - It's-It's no dick.
再来点酒！ 也许我们会在一个满是馅饼的婴儿泳池里游泳 - More booze! - Maybe we'll be swimming in a baby pool full of flan.
我会看的 这就够了 - I would watch it. - That's enough.
我想要多少就可以有多少 因为我管理着这个国家 I can have as many as I want, 'cause I run this country.
你可以得到…它的生日时间 谢谢 - You can have... It's birthday time. - Thank you.
反正你也不会记得的 You won't remember this anyway.
你对克莱尔哭 你对克莱尔哭 You cry to Claire. You cry to Claire.
它会让你的屁股着火的 Chiles up your ass.
这是孩子出生后我喝的第一杯酒 Well, this is the first alcohol I've had since the baby was born,
我得告诉你 感觉太好了 and I got to tell you, it feels right!
嗯 嗯！ Mm-hmm!
嗯 味道真不错 Well, bon appétit.
或者用西班牙语说 味道真棒 Or as they say in español, buen provecho.
对对 Oui, oui.
我想做更多的 I want to do more of this.
过个生日 你就想要做出一些改变 Have a birthday, you want to make changes.
-奥普拉说你要到40岁才开始真正生活 - 嗯 - Oprah says you don't start living until you're 40. - Mmm!
-你还好吗？ -还好 就是感觉有点辣 - You okay? - Yeah, but a little spicy.
-噢 是的 -是的 - Oh, yeah. - Yeah.
墨西哥的饭菜就是很辣 Well, Mexican food is spicy.
好辣 Very hot.
没有人感到嘴唇火辣辣滴吗？ Nobody else's lips are burning?
没有 No.
放松点... 喝点水 Just ease up on the... Have some water.
厨师？ Uh, chef?
熟的魔鬼椒之后会变得更辣吗？ Do ghost peppers get hotter when you cook them?
不会的 除非用的是碎辣椒 No it shouldn't, not if you just used a sliver.
“偷窥”？ 我想看那部电影 "Sliver"? I want to see that movie.
我学会了如何对着那部电影自慰 I learned how to masturbate with that movie.
那不合适吧 That's not right.
好吧 Okay.
-嗯 喝点水 宝贝 -这就对了 - Yeah, just have some water, honey. - There you go.
这就对了 好多了 不错 There go you. That's better. That's right.
噢！ Oh!
变得更辣了 变得更辣了 It's getting hotter. It's getting hotter.
噢 太辣了 Oh, this is hot!
哇哦！ Whoo!
她为什么吃得像只狗一样？ Why is she eating like a dog?
用叉子 你看起来很恶心 Use a fork. You look disgusting.
哦！ Oh!
不 不 不 不 No, no, no, no.
好吧 Okay.
辣死我了 辣死我了 It burns so bad it hurts! It hurts!
深呼吸 Breathe through it.
-哦我的天 -我去！ - Oh, my God. - Shit!
-她噎住了！-我知道 海姆利希 - She's choking! - I know Heimlich.
我来救你 米娅！ I will save your life, Mia!
-你得抬高点 -保持在中部 - You have to go higher. - Keep it in the middle.
-好的 好的 -如果你死在我的地毯上... - Yes. Yes. - If you die on my carpet...
别给老娘死！我对上帝发誓 Don't you die! I swear to God.
这招不管用 It didn't work.
吃点面包 把食物吸收进去 Here's some bread. It'll soak it all up.
-那有很多碳水化合物！-只有20分 - Oh, that's a lot of carbs! - It's only 20 points.
给你 亲爱的 牛奶 Here you go, honey. Milk.
这就是我对赖德所做的 来 妈妈喂你牛奶 This is what I do with Ryder. Mama's feeding you milk.
这就对了 There it is.
这就对了 There you go.
这是羊奶 很浓稠 It's goat's milk. It's thick.
这是第一个该死的夜晚 This is the first motherfucking night...
自从我有了赖德 我洗了澡 since I had Ryder that I washed my body.
我做了头发 我化了妆去和集美们出去玩 I did my hair, I put on some makeup to hang out with my girls...
而不是呆在家里吃粘在我孩子手指缝里和大腿上的 instead of staying home eating wet Cheerios stuck on my baby's crevices
湿麦片！ and his thick little thighs！
去你的 米娅！ Fuck you, Mia!
去你的！ Fuck you!
我祈祷屁屁能痊愈 Ooh, I pray for the healing of this bootyhole.
请治好这个鬼地方 这太糟糕了！ Please heal this bootyhole. This is bad!
哦 Ooh.
我在！ I'm in here!
是你 那是你的错 Yeah, that's you. That's your fault.
我对昨晚的事再次感到抱歉 I am so sorry again about what happened last night.
我当时失去了理智 但我又不想和你吵架 I lost my mind for a minute. I don't want to fight with you.
我只想让我们一起努力从而达成协议 I just want us to work together and make this deal happen.
你为嘛要那么做？ 巴雷特是我最好的朋友 Why the hell did you do that? Barret's my best friend.
他很聪明 也很温柔 你伤害了他 And he's brilliant, and he's tender, and you hurt him.
我们没得选择 We didn't have a choice.
对我们所有人来说都很糟糕 It sucks for all of us.
但他是姐的人 No, but he was my person!
我知道他永远不可能成为我的丈夫 And I know he's never gonna be my husband, and...
多亏了我的治疗师 我才能学会接受这个事实 thanks to my therapist, I'm learning to accept that.
-你想要个拥抱吗？-不！我不想要拥抱 - Would you like a hug? - No! I don't want a hug.
你干嘛去？ What are you doing?
你有啥毛病吗？我当然需要一个拥抱啦 What is wrong with you? Yes, of course I would like a hug.
我不知道你为什么不知道哇 I don't know why you wouldn't know that.
惊喜！ Surprise!
事儿精又来了 需要帮忙吗？ 没？ 太好了 It's the angry carrot. What can I get you? Nothing? Good.
好了 姑娘们 给我看看你们的双头口红 Okay, girls, show me the presentation on the two-sided lipstick idea you came up with.
嗯 整件事都有点偏离了方向 Well, everything has gotten a little sidetracked
因为巴雷特的事 because of what happened with Barret.
哦 我的天！ Oh, my God!
他甚至都不在这了还能拖慢了产品的进程 He's not even here anymore, and he's still slowing down production!
拜托 给我看看你们的成果 Come on. Show me what you got.
好的 这里有两只普通的口红 So, here we have two normal lipsticks.
想法就是 如果把他们接在一起 And the idea is, if we just join them together...
就这样把他们粘在一起 You just stick them together like that.
用点力 就像这样 Real hard, like they're,
你懂得 就像两条狗在交配 you know, two dogs mating.
我们奥维耶多的顾客可不愿意联想到用狗的小鸡鸡 My Oviedo customers do not want to think of the penis of a dog
去涂抹她们的嘴唇 因为那很恶心 rubbing on their lips because it's disgusting.
是的 很恶心 Yes, disgusting.
两条狗啪啪啪？ 这就是你想出来的？ Two dogs copulating? That's what you came up with?
我们有些离谱了 这不是我的本意 We're so off-track. That's not what I meant.
这太可怕了 This is appalling.
而且这是你的错 And it's your fault.
你不能让另一个人中途参与创作 You cannot let the other one get in the middle of the creative.
那个人负责会计 That one does the accounting.
你知道她的局限性 You know her limitations.
你让她失望了 You failed her!
-啥玩意儿？ 狗交口红的事你怪我？ -是的 - Uh, you blaming me for the dog-sex lipstick? - Yeah.
我不知道你想要啥 但是你这样说是不对滴 I don't know what you want, but this is not how you're gonna get it.
哇哦 Wow.
对不起 我小时候很爱狗狗 I'm sorry. I loved dogs when I was little.
我意思是 不是喜欢它们的小鸡鸡 但... I mean, not their dicks, but...
我打赌那个包是用他的包皮做的 I bet that little bag is made out of his foreskin.
我觉得我们真的让她失望了 I think we really disappointed her.
滴滴打车去！ Take a Lyft!
嗨 克莱尔决定带另一家公司去参加开盘仪式 Hey. Yeah, so Claire's decided to bring a different company to the launch party
不带你们了 instead of you.
-喔 喔 什么？-哪个婊子要占我们的位置？ - Whoa, whoa, what? - What bitch is taking our spot?
实际上是两个男人 直男 你们认识的 想起来了吗？ It's actually two men. Straight guys. You know them. Get Some?
她收购了他们的公司 She bought their company.
-哦 不 -是看起来像魔力红的那两个家伙吗？ - Oh, no. - Those Maroon 5-looking dudes?
好吧 伙计们 他们确实有很好的履历 Okay. You guys, they've actually got a proven track record.
他们开发了在线约会应用PostD8 They created the online-dating app PostD8.
什么是PostD8？ What's PostD8?
它完全是一个粗俗的沙文主义的应用程序 It is a totally gross and chauvinistic app,
在那上面男人可以告诉女人他们在以前约会上 where guys can go on and tell women they've previously dated
做错过什么以此来帮助他们从中“走出来” what was wrong with them to "help them out."
是的 我正在用 Yeah, I'm on it.
我的房东说我的牙齿太锋利了 My landlord said that my teeth are too sharp.
为什么克莱尔会想和这些蠢猪有关联？ Why would Claire even want to be associated with those pigs?
她没有 好吧 所以克莱尔才这么生你的气 She didn't, okay? That is why Claire is so upset with you.
她是个女权主义者! She is a feminist!
现在 因为你们 她不得不找两个男人合作 And now, because of you guys, she has to go with two dudes.
-这一点道理都没有 -是的 - That makes zero sense. - Yeah.
好的 我会解释 好消息是你们的债还请了 Okay, I'll explain. Good news, your debt is paid.
坏消息是克莱尔不会再帮你们了 Bad news, Claire's never helping you again.
而且 根据你们的合同 你们必须在你们的余生里 And, per your contract, you now have to give Claire
每赚1块钱都要给她49美分 49 cents of every dollar for the rest of your lives.
所以 是的 继续保湿 因为你们将会一直需要拥有现在的容貌 So, yeah, keep moisturizing, 'cause you're gonna need those looks.
♪如果你的上唇有毛 ♪ ♪ If your upper lip is hairy ♪
是不是这两人？ Are these the guys?
♪ 你可以用爆裂樱桃把它整好! ♪ ♪ You can fix it With a blast of Poppin' Cherry! ♪
歌词太恶俗了 但是... The lyrics are beyond offensive, but...
旋律很棒 the melody is beautiful!
来点吧 来点吧 你会想“要“”的 Get some Get Some, and you'll get some.
她指导女性以重塑她的华丽崛起 What happened to her whole thing of mentoring women
的整个过程发生了什么 to recreate her sweet rise?
我不知道 但老娘不会饶过她 I don't know, but she ain't getting away with this shit.
我们已经退出这桩交易了 她已经和我们玩完了！ We're getting out of this deal. She's done messing with us!
我真心觉得她会照顾我们的 我相信过她 I really thought she was gonna take care of us. I believed her.
但她是个... And she's such a lying...
撒谎精！ snake!
认真的吗？ Really?
-你就能想起来这个词？ - 你会怎么称呼她？ - That's all you could come up with? - What would you call her?
要我说她就是个骚货 贱人 I would say that she's a yeasty-ass, pussy-ass,
愚蠢的母狗 tomfoolery-lookin' motherfucking...
我都不知道tomfoolery这个词啥意思 但听起来挺符合她 I don't even know what tomfoolery is, but it seem like something that fits her.
她有蓝华夫饼 你知道什么是蓝华夫饼吗？ She got blue waffles. You know what blue waffles is?
就是你的阴部看起来像 行尸走肉里的 That's when your coochie looks like it's from The Walking Dead.
因为她不是一坨屎 'Cause she ain't shit!
克莱尔正在开会 Claire's in a meeting right now.
我的鞋子要给你的屁股开个会 就是现在 My Payless BOGOs are about to be in a meeting with your ass... right now.
是克莱尔 It's Claire.
什么？ What?
-让我们上去 -现在 - Let us up there. - Right now.
没门 也许下次当有人给你提供机会时 No. Maybe next time somebody gives you an opportunity,
你能学会主动把腿叉开而不是白白浪费掉 you'll step up your pussies instead of wasting it.
拜了个拜！ Ta-ta!
-快走 姐妹 -快点 快 快 - Come on, girl. - Go, go, go.
马库斯 抓住她们 Marcus, get them.
-我们要去找你了 克莱尔！-快回来！ - We coming for you, Claire! - Come back here!
麻烦你退下 先生 多谢 快退下 Stand down sir Thank you, sir. Stand down.
别让我来硬的 女士们 Let's not make this hard, ladies.
多谢合作 先生！拜拜了您！ Thank you very much, sir! Goodbye!
搞什么鬼？ What the fuck?
快 快 快 快 Go, go, go, go.
快给我停住！ Stop right there!
我们就是去和克莱尔喝杯茶 根本没啥大事！ We're coming to meet with Claire. Everything's fine!
-我觉得他好像死了！ -他没事 我刚刚还看到他蹬腿 - I think he could be dead! - He's good. I saw his legs moving.
哦 我的天 好吧 Oh, my God. Okay.
-完了 完了 完了 完了 -快回头 - Shit! Shit, shit, shit. - Back, back, back.
哦！不是吧 见鬼！ Oh! Come on. Shit!
-这里肯定存在误会 -我们是来找克莱尔的 - There's been a misunderstanding. - We're here to see Claire.
我们是来为克莱尔露娜提供私人服务的 We're here to do services on Claire Luna.
没错！你看 我们是过来给她的肛门进行漂白的 Yes! Yes, see, we are gonna bleach her butthole.
而且它真的很大 And it's really big.
-所以我们来了两个人 -就是这样 - That's why there's two of us. - Exactly.
-你们得跟我们走一趟 -你离老娘远一点！ - You need to come with us. - You get away from me!
-女士？ -难道你也想试试？ - Ma'am? - You want some, too?
-真是日了狗了！-她打到我的乳头了 - Son of a bitch! - That was right in the nipple.
不把克莱尔露娜叫下来的话我就要跳下去 Get Claire Luna down here right now or I'm gonna jump.
她说到做到 你说啥？ Pronto. What?
没错 我马上就跳下去 Yep, I am gonna jump.
嘿 嘿 嘿 Hey, hey, hey.
-一言既出 驷马难追 -这不是闹着玩的 不 你快下来 - This is for real. Yes, we will. - This isn't funny. No, no, no...
我们要给这地板上点颜色 用我们的血肉之躯 We're gonna paint this whole downstairs with blood, teeth and hair.
-不要 米娅！ -我说到做到 - Nope. Mia! - Let's do it.
我们可不是在唬人 We are not bluffing.
赶紧把克莱尔露娜给老娘弄下来！ Get Claire Luna right now!
哦 妈的！ Oh, shit!
我的天 米娅！ Oh, my God, Mia!
抓住她！快搭把手！ Grab! Help me!
这和我想的可不一样啊 梅尔 你特么抓牢实了！ This is not what I wanted to happen, Mel. Don't you fucking drop me!
相信我 我抓住你了！ Trust me, I got you!
-我们抓住你了 -别让我掉下去！ - We got you. - Don't you drop me!
我永远不会松手的 我抓着你呢 I'm never gonna let you go. I have you.
我特么讨厌无人机！ I fucking hate drones!
啊 见鬼了！ Ah, shit!
抓住条幅！ Grab the flag!
快点 加把劲 Come on, let's go.
我没有杀你表亲 那是起自杀！ I didn't kill your cousin. It was suicide!
帮帮我 大家伙！ Help me, guys!
哦 幸亏我一直在做平板支撑 Oh, I'm so glad I been planking.
再加把劲 Come on.
哦吼 你们怎么知道这是我最喜欢的姿势？刚才那个角度刚刚好 Ooh. How you know this my favorite position? That's my favorite right there.
哦 我的天 Oh, my God.
你来这干什么？我们在等克莱尔呢 What you doing here? We're waiting for Claire.
这真是给我留下一点 一点 一点 一点 I'm a tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny...
就一点点印象 bit impressed.
你们在我的地盘闹腾的挺欢啊 That's quite a scene you made in my house.
-我对此毫无歉意 -我也没有 - And I'm not sorry at all. - Neither am I.
好吧 说实话 我感到抱歉 Actually, that's a lie. I am.
非常抱歉而且很丢人 Very sorry and embarrassed.
-我为我们俩向你道歉 -别替我道歉 - I apologize for the both of us. - Don't apologize for me.
好吧 我不会 那我为我自己道歉 Okay, I won't. But I apologize for me.
你能行行好再给我们一次机会吗？ Can you please just give us another chance?
我不需要另一次机会 我都不想掺和进她的世界里 I don't want another chance. I don't want to be in her world at all.
而接下来会发生这些事 知道吗？ And here's what's about to happen, okay?
你得把我们的公司还给我们！ You're giving us our company back!
没问题 No problem.
只要你把我帮你们还债的五十万还过来就行 You just pay me back the half a million that I paid for your debt.
还要额外利息 还有为你们毁掉的无人机再付四千美元 Plus interest. Plus $4,000 for the drone you destroyed.
是你毁掉的 You destroyed it.
行吧 Fine.
是你们本来打算偷走然后逼我毁掉的无人机 For the drone you were going to steal and you made me destroy.
我们就折算成六十万美元 怎么样？ Let's just call it 600K, shall we?
你可以把这个也算上 You can add this to my tab.
这对你够“猛烈”了么？ Was that "fierst" enough for you?
我知道你一直糊弄我们的真正原因 I know the real reason why you keep messing with us.
你看不得两个最好的朋友过上她们最好的生活 You can't stand to see two best friends living their best life
而且一同经营着公司 and running a business together.
这是你生命中唯一的失败之处 It's the only thing you ever failed at in life.
你觉得她说的对么？ Do you think she's right?
不 不 不 No. No. No.
你单枪匹马打出一片天地 You're successful, you're independent.
谁不想成为你？ Who wouldn't want to be you?
你认为呢 米娅？ What do you think, Mia?
她只是在说你想听的 She telling you what you want to hear.
你说的没错 I think you're right.
而且她那样做很聪明 And that's smart.
她知道秘诀在哪 She knows where the power is.
我再送给你们最后一次机会 I'm going to gift you one last chance.
我每个月都为会员举办一场活动 叫做“含苞欲放” I host an event every month for insiders. It's called, "Beauty and Bubbles."
你们两可以在那做现场教学 You ladies are gonna do a live tutorial there.
如果反馈不错的话 你们就能回到正轨 And if it's well received, then you're back on track
而我将在发布会上提拔你们 and I will present you at my launch party.
如果你们搞砸了 那就直接出局 If you mess it up, then you're out.
太谢谢你了 Thank you so much.
没门 No way.
感觉她一直反对就是为了惹毛我 It's like she says no to things just to piss me off.
我在她身旁时感觉就是如履薄冰 一不小心她就会抓狂 I feel I have to walk on eggshells when I'm around her, or she'll freak out.
你让我想起了我自己 You remind me of myself.
是咩 Oh.
想起了当我弱小无助满腹牢骚的时候 When I was whiny and weak and lame.
记得我的上个搭档么？ Remember my former partner?
-谢尔 怀特莫尔？ -嘘 没必要说出那个名字 - Shay Whitmore? - Shh. We don't have to say the name.
啥事她都反对 That woman disagreed with every single thing I did.
最终 我开始对她有所隐瞒 不再无话不说 Eventually, I stopped telling her things. I was keeping things from her.
一样！但是我不想对米娅那样做 Same! But I don't want to do that with Mia anymore.
那你也得和她分道扬镳 如同我和谢尔 Then you have to stand up to her like I did with Shay.
你的公司会一成不变... Nothing will change in your company...
除非你做出改变 until you change.
-你感受到了吗？ -嗯嗯 - You feel me? - Mm-hmm.
妈的 妈的 妈的 Fuck, fuck, fuck.
我得和你谈谈 我们要去“含苞待放”这个活动 I need to talk to you. We're going to Beauty and Bubbles,
而你不能拒绝我 and I'm not taking no for an answer.
-我拒绝 -不 你要去的 行么？ - I'm not going. - No, you are going, okay?
我没有请求你 我是在通知你 I'm not asking you, I'm telling you.
当真？ Really?
嗯哼 Mm-hmm.
哦！ Ooh!
你可以收拾干净 You can clean that up.
你一直在吸可卡因但却不问我要不要来一点？ You been doing cocaine and didn't ask me if I wanted some?
你之前可是答应过我的 That was a lifetime promise.
求你了 Please.
你知道我要是凡事不去尝试一下是活不下去的 You know that I won't be able to live with myself if I don't at least try.
行吧 我会去的 Okay, I'll go.
就当是为了你 For you.
你们好啊 窈窕淑女们！ Hello, you fabulous women!
欢迎来到---”含苞待放“主题晚会 Welcome to my ongoing series, Beauty and Bubbles.
今晚我们将迎来两对互相竞争的美妆搭档 Tonight we are going to pit two emerging cosmetic duos against each other,
而最终由你们来决定谁能加入我的奥维耶多帝国 and you get to decide which one will join my Oviedo empire.
掌声送给来自米娅和梅尔品牌的 米娅还有梅尔！ From Mia & Mel, please welcome Mia and Mel.
这什么意思 克莱尔？ What is this, Claire?
还有“略施粉黛”的格雷格和罗恩 And from Get Some Cosmetics, please welcome Greg and Ron.
-你们看起来美极了 -永不退缩！克莱尔 贝尔！ - You guys look gorgeous. - Get Some! Claire Bear!
我们的展示者是来自几内亚的莱拉和罗拉法瑞尔 Our gorgeous guinea pigs are Layla and Lola Farrell.
双胞胎？ Twins?
-是的 -哇哦 - Yeah. - Whoa.
好的 格雷格还有罗恩 让我们看看你们的料 Okay, Greg and Ron, show us what you've got.
放手做吧 略施粉黛 请坐 夫人 Let's do this. Get Some! Have a seat, milady.
你们看 我们将把这张脸从“毫不起眼”变为... You know, we are gonna turn this face from "meh"...
“夺人眼球” to "meh-gnificent."
米娅？梅尔？快上 姑娘们！ Mia? Mel? Come on, girls!
这有很多斑点啊 这也有很多 我们会让你容光焕发的 Lot of blemishes. A lot going on here. I think we'll do a max glam.
-你今天过得怎么样？ -很好 - How are you today? - Good.
非常好 你的皮肤看起来太棒了！你是怎么保持的？ Good. Your skin looks amazing! What do you do to keep it up?
-多喝水就行了 -那才是关键 - I drink a lot of water. - That is the key.
当她们互相攻击时 就喊停 When they get pissed off, it's over.
-应给给你涂点口红 那会很完美 -笑一下 - Put some lips on you, and it'll be great. - Smile for me.
-好了 不要笑 撅个嘴 -我们又不修牙 - Okay, don't smile. Just do the pout. - We don't fix teeth here.
你喜欢美妆的哪方面呢？ What do you love about makeup?
我觉得美妆很有趣 它会让你觉得 “哦 我天 我太性感了” I love how fun it is. And you're like, "Oh, my God, I'm hot."
你觉得谁会先垮掉 梅尔还是米娅？ Who do you think is gonna crack first, Mel or Mia?
-你的睫毛又长又翘 还很浓密 -没错 - Your lashes are thickish and longish. - Yeah.
你只需要刷一点点... You just need to shine a light on them with a bit of...
-睫毛膏 -对 对 - ...mascara. - Mm-hmm.
-就这样 漂亮 -谢谢 - There you go. Beautiful. - Thank you.
-不 我说的是他的化妆技术 -谢谢 - No, I was talking about his technique. - Thank you.
-真漂亮 -对吧？ - It's beautiful. - Right?
让我们来看看大家做的怎么样 Now let's see how everyone did.
米娅 梅尔 让我们看看蕾拉的妆 Mia and Mel, walk us through Layla's look.
好的 Yes.
在米娅和梅尔公司 化妆的精髓不在“化” 那不是我们的目的 At Mia & Mel, we're not about painting it on. We don't like that.
我们是为了让你变得光彩照人 看呐! We like to see it shine through. Look at you!
谢谢 Thank you.
现在 给大家看看你们的成果吧 Now, fellas, show us your look.
看 Voilà.
洛拉是一个非常可爱的女孩 Lola is a very cute girl,
但我们觉得她可以化身冷艳美人 but we knew she could be a stone-cold fox.
所以我们用了全哑光的粉底来掩盖她的缺陷 So we started with an all-over matte foundation to cover up her flaws.
接下来 当然是用我们“略施粉黛”热门樱桃色口红 Then, of course, we finished it with our signature Get Some...
来画龙点睛啦 ...Poppin' Cherry Lipstick.
洛拉 蕾拉 请靠近点 Lola, Layla, please come closer.
这太有趣了 就像妆前和妆后一样 对吧？ It's funny. It's almost like a before and after, right?
事实上 我们还没有化完 坐下 Actually, we're not finished yet. Sit down.
什么？这就是我们想要的妆效啊 别动了 What? We did what we wanted. Leave it alone.
我们的妆没有化完 还要一点收尾工作 We're not done. We just have a little more work to do on our twin.
-给我一点时间 -你干哈呢？ - Just give me a second. - What are you doing?
-你怎么回事？ -我在补救 N- What is wrong with you? - I'm fixing this.
你不能总是试图取悦那些 You can't keep trying to please someone
一遍一遍欺压你的人 who keeps screwing you over and over.
她不是你妈 She's not your mother.
梅尔 你说的对极了 Mel, you are so right about her.
米娅得不到她想要的东西时 就会变得很刻薄 She really is ruthless when she doesn't get what she wants.
我明白你为什么在她身边总是小心翼翼了 I see what you mean by always having to walk on eggshells around her.
所以这就是你要做的? So that's what you're doing?
你居然背着我 跟克莱尔说我坏话？ You're sitting around talking shit about me with Claire behind my back?
不是的 我只是有时候不知道怎么面对你! No, I just don't know how to deal with you sometimes!
呵呵 应该很久之前你就该明白 只要相信我就够了 Well, you could've figured that out a long time ago by just trusting me.
你不用再和我打交道了 告辞 You don't have to deal with me no more. I quit.
是你把我们公司的控制权都交给了她！ You just gave her control of our company!
早就不是我们的公司了 梅尔 Hasn't been our company for a long time, Mel.
不可能！ That is not true!
你想让我们成功的唯一原因 The only reason you ever wanted us to succeed
就是你太在意 is 'cause you're obsessed
别人对你的看法了 with what everybody thinks about you.
你压根不在乎别人怎么想 You don't care what anyone thinks.
你总是想做什么就做什么 你太自私了! You just do whatever you want to do. You're so selfish!
-我自私？-对！ - I'm selfish? - Yeah!
我一直在照顾你 I've been taking care of you
从我把你领回家的那天起 since the first day I walked into your broke-ass home.
所以我就是你大发善心的小可怜 嗯? So I'm just a charity case? Huh?
我希望你早点告诉我 免得我浪费时间 I wish you'd told me that so I didn't waste my life
试着让你去做你不敢做的事情! trying to get you to do things you're too scared to do!
这和你支不支持我没关系 this ain't about you supporting me.
你只不过是想刷存在感罢了！ It's about you trying to prove that you're not a nobody!
我宁愿毫无存在感也不愿霸凌别人 I'd rather be a nobody than a bully.
我受够你总是低估我 I'm done with you weighing me down.
这过去的二十年就当是浪费时间 This last 20 years has been a waste.
你们是对的 我们一开始就不该成立公司 You guys were right. We never should've started the company to begin with.
哦天呐 我们表现的那么婊气的唯一原因 Oh, my God, the only reason that we were so bitchy about it
是因为我们太嫉妒你们了 is because we were so jealous of you.
是真的 我的日记里有很多都是 It's true. So much of my diary is designated
被排斥的感觉以及嫉妒你和梅尔的友谊 to feeling left out and jealous of you and Mel's friendship.
你每天都可以和你最好的朋友在一起 You got to hang out every day with your best friend.
我们却不得不整天和家人在一起 这很好 但有时候... We get to hang out with our families, which is great, believe me but sometimes...
我是说和家人在一起是很棒 但 I mean we get to hang out with our families, which is awesome,believe me but
有时你只想和朋友在一起 sometimes you just want to be with your friends.
你们俩的事会解决的 就好比亲姐妹 很美好的 You two are gonna work it out. You're like sisters. It's beautiful.
对 金姆说的对 Yeah, Kim's right.
呃 我是独生子 我对怎么处理姐妹关系一无所知 I mean, I don't know anything about sisters as I'm an only child,
但这很美好 你会处理妥当的 but it is beautiful, and you will work it out.
谢谢 姐妹们 Thanks, ladies.
我不知道 I don't know.
你在干嘛？ What are you doing?
找房子 Zillowing.
我目前没有工作 必须找到更经济适用的房子 I have to find more affordable housing, as I am currently unemployed.
是个高仿 It's a knockoff.
很明显 Clearly.
对不起 巴雷特 I'm sorry, Barret.
我们不应该解雇你 We never should've fired you.
你知道的 我不是因为你解雇我而生气 You know, I'm not mad that you fired me.
我知道克莱尔让你们别无选择 I know that Claire gave you no choice.
但我不明白 为什么你们再不联系我了 What I don't understand is why you never called me afterwards.
这是我被炒后的第一次谈话 This is the first time we're speaking.
而且我怀疑这是因为你和梅尔闹掰了 And I suspect it's only because you don't have Mel right now.
-这话没法继续谈了 -给我坐下! - I can't do this. - Sit your ass down!
我还没完呢 I ain't done with you yet.
你知道梅尔之前都为你做了什么吗？ Do you understand what Mel does for you?
-她什么都没有... -你根本不明白 - I mean she doesn't do... - You have no idea.
她每天来到店里 都会把它布置得很完美 Every day, she comes into the store, she sets it up perfectly,
这样你来了之后 就可以发挥你天马行空的想象力 so you can come in and be a whirling dervish of creativity.
一天结束了 你走了 And when it's all over...
她留下来打扫 she cleans up after you
第二天 同样的事情再次发生 循环往复 so you can come back in the next day and do it all over again.
我想在家里也是一样的吧 And I suspect it's the same at home.
呃 确实 她几乎每天 I mean, she does put toothpaste on my toothbrush.
都会帮我挤牙膏 Almost every day.
嘿 西德妮 Hey, Syd.
你好吗 你的连衣裙真漂亮 哪买的? How are you? That's a pretty dress. Where's it from?
哦 是嘛 我在学校前面的铁丝网上找到的 Oh. Yeah, I found it on a chain-link fence out in front of the school.
好吧 Yeah.
没有你真是太无聊了 你们俩 It's been pretty dull without you. Both of you.
西德妮... Syd...
米娅和我不会再合作了 Mia and I aren't gonna work together anymore.
我能告诉你些事吗? Can I tell you something?
我知道你一直担心有一天你会对她有所隐瞒 I just know that you're so scared that you can't tell her anything.
那样你就什么事都解决不了 So you can't work anything out.
这就是问题的起源 That's how this whole mess started.
我去 Fuck.
哎呀 你们得赶紧振作起来了 Come on. You guys got to come back to work.
你们必须 我是说 你看看这个? You do. I mean, did you see this?
我在“略施粉黛”官网上找到的 I found this on the Get Some website.
克莱尔 卢娜在发布会上介绍一种新产品 Claire Luna is introducing a new product at her launch party.
什么？ What?
她骗了我们！这可是我们的一夜情套装啊！ She ripped us off. That's One Night Stand!
你要让别人拿走你的心血? You're gonna let someone just take your best seller?
还有你最好的朋友？ And your best friend?
我正要打电话给你! I was just about to call you!
你在哪里? 我有事要告诉你 Where are you? I need to tell you something.
我刚离店 你在哪里? I just left the store. Where are you?
我正要去店里 我来找你 I'm headed towards the store. I'll find you.
我得告诉你一件事 真不敢相信我带了这么小的... I have to tell you something. I can't believe I brought that tiny...
我要说的更重要 What I have to tell you is way more important.
不 这没有我要告诉你的重要 No, it's not more important than what I have to tell you.
我要向你道歉 I need to apologize.
我对你所做的一切都视而不见 你是对的 I was so blind to everything you do. You were right.
我很害怕 我对你不公平 而且… I was scared. I was unfair to you, and...
我很抱歉曾经把你所做的当成理所当然 I'm so sorry I ever took you for granted.
我非常抱歉 I'm so sorry.
不 你是对的 我需要改变 我要做得更好 No, you were right. I need to change, and I'm gonna do better.
我只是不想让你失望 I just don't ever want to disappoint you.
你是我的家人 你就是我的家 You're my family. You're my home.
我不知道没有你我该怎么办 I don't know what I would do without you.
姐妹 我三个星期没刷牙了! Girl, I didn't brush my teeth for three weeks!
我很抱歉 我曾经相信过她所说的一切 I'm so sorry I ever believed anything she ever said.
对不起 我搞砸了我们的机会 I'm sorry I blew our chance.
我们从来没有机会! 你是对的 We never had a chance! You were right.
她把我们的一夜情套装给了“略施粉黛” She gave One Night Stand to the Get Some guys.
靠 Ooh.
没有人能盗窃我们的想法 还免遭惩罚 Nobody steals our ideas and gets away with it.
你知道吗? 我们要让这个婊砸知道厉害 You know what? We're gonna break this bitch's back.
谢谢你来见我 Thank you for seeing me.
没事 米娅 佩奇 我能帮你什么吗? Yes, Mia Paige, how can I help you?
我有个提议 I have an offer for you.
一个你不会想要拒绝的提议 A sweet-ass offer that you won't want to refuse.
我们出发吧！ Let's move!
-宝贝 看看来了这么多人! -哦, 可不是嘛 - Look at this crowd, baby! - Oh, yeah.
女士们先生们 上场的是时尚界的化妆女王 Ladies and gentlemen, the queen of cosmetic chic,
克莱尔 卢娜！ Claire Luna!
美女们 大家好! Hello, you fabulous women!
我很喜欢这个活动 I just adore this event
因为这是我向化妆品界介绍我的初次约会对象的活动 because this is when I get to introduce my debutantes to the cosmetics world.
没错 Yeah.
这两位都是天才 These two are geniuses.
并与我一起推出了一款惊为天人的新产品 And together we have an incredible new product to launch
女士们 你们一定会为此疯狂的 that you ladies will lose your minds over.
准备好开始疯狂了吗？ Are you ready to lose your minds?
女士们先生们…… Ladies and gentlemen...
女士们先生们 让我们欢迎 Ladies and gentlemen,please welcome to the stage ,
米娅和梅尔 Mia and Mel!
—好了 女士们 女士们 —女士们 - Yes, ladies, ladies. - Ladies.
谢谢 我们对能站在这里并 Thank you. We couldn't be more thrilled to be here
获得这位女强人的支持而感到无比兴奋 and have the support of this strong woman right here.
克莱尔 谢谢你支持所有的姐妹 Thank you, Claire, for supporting all women.
感谢你 克莱尔 Thank you, Claire!
好像抱着一个小小的墨西哥芭比 This is like hugging a little Mexican Barbie doll.
-像是一捆芹菜 -这是塑身裤吗？ - Like a bunch of celery. - Are those Spanx?
这多亏了你 克莱尔 我们能站在这里 It is because of you, Claire, that we can stand here
并有机会与大家一起分享我们所坚信的美的奥义 and have the chance to share with you all what we believe is the core of beauty:
就是彼此 Each other.
嗯…… Mmm.
真正的友情不仅仅在于同甘 Friendship isn't just about the high points.
还有共苦 以及两者之间 It's about the low points, too. And everything in between.
这事没完 You really think you're gonna get away with this shit?
嗯哼 Mm-hmm.
嗯 他们会因为我在宝宝派对上喝得烂醉而批评我吗？ Um, do they judge me when I get too drunk at baby showers?
绝对会的 A hundred percent.
但最终 But at the end of the day,
看看这张脸 看看这个笑容 look at this skin, look at this smile,
看看这些真心 你明白我的意思？ look at these hearts. You know what I mean?
-我太爱你们了 - 我也爱你们 - I love you guys so much. - I love you guys, too.
-你倒是做点什么啊 -还能做什么？她们已经站在舞台上了 - Go do something! - Like what? They're already on the stage.
-那又怎样？动手吧……-喂！让她们说完 - So? Go get... - Hey! Hey! Let them finish.
解决她 Get rid of it.
-我可以拿回那个吗？-哦 你有本事过来啊 - Can I have that back? - Oh, come on!
就连我的肛塞都比你的老二大得多 I've got butt plugs way bigger than you.
行吧 我要阻止 Fine, I'll stop...
你那玩意儿是石头做的 啊 Yours are made of stone. Ow.
你这个卑鄙的婊砸 我要把这些东西都拽出来 You pumpkin-spiced turd! I'm gonna pull all this shit off!
乔什 乔什 乔什 你被炒了 Josh, Josh, Josh, you're fired!
什么？ What?
你不能任由别人抢走你的幸福 You can't depend on no man to bring you happiness.
到我上场了 That's my cue.
你是对的 我真的很需要这些话 You're right, and I really needed to hear that.
幸福由内而生 我们教过你这些 对吗？ The happiness is on the inside. We taught you that, right?
有点老掉牙了 It sounds like such a cliché,
但确是实话 是实话！ - but it really is true. - It's the truth!
我是说 你真的是个很棒的朋友 I mean, you're just such an incredible friend.
而且如果我现在出门被车撞倒 我会第一时间想起你 And if I get hit by a bus on the way out of here, I just want you to know that
他真的是我最好的朋友 he really was my best friend.
女士们 我们为曾经有勇气和各位共渡难关 Ladies, we have a new product for all you besties out there
并一起变得更加坚强的好朋友们 who've been brave enough to ride out the rough patches
准备了一款新品 and get stronger on the other end.
它就是 生死相依 耶！ This is "Ride or Die", y'all!
有了它你和你的好闺蜜 A custom beauty kit that allows you and your best friend
就可以画出最完美的妆容 to pretty it up while you break it down.
我的闺蜜团在哪？ Where my besties at, huh?
我们一起从风雨里走过！ We're the ones who stuck it out through all that shit!
你们明白我的意思吧 生死相依 - Y'all know what I'm talking about. - "Ride or Die."
来瞧瞧 女士们 看到了吗？ 瞧 Check it out, ladies. See? Look at that.
那真一记重击！ They're a hit.
这意味着我还是被开除状态么？ 哼 废话 - Does this mean I'm still fired? - Hell, yes.
好吧 没有我 看你去哪找包！ Well, good luck trying to find your purse without me!
我把它放在老地方了 I left it where it usually is.
好吧 我原谅你们了 Okay, I forgive you.
这对奥维耶多来说简直太棒了！ This is gonna be great for Oviedo!
哦 这不是为了你的公司 Oh, this is not for your company.
宝贝 我才是老板 Baby, I own you.
实际上 你并不算我们的老板 你是米娅和梅尔公司的老板 Actually, you don't own us. You own Mia & Mel, the company.
你知道 你是对的 一夜情套装现在已经过时了 You know, you were right. One Night Stand is old news now.
所以我们和一个新的合作伙伴 开了家新公司 So we've started a new company, with a new partner,
我们称它为”骄傲“ and we're calling it Proud.
你们白手起家的么？ You're starting from scratch?
你们打算怎么做 挨家挨户敲门 What are you gonna do, go door-to-door
来试着叫卖你们的女童军饼干？ and try to sell it with your Girl Scout cookies?
哈！ Ha!
不是哦 Not exactly.
谢尔？ Shay?
你好啊 克莱尔 Hello, Claire.
我懂了 Oh, I see what's going on here.
你想把我的女孩们偷走来对付我 You're trying to steal my girls to get back at me.
不 我不用偷走你的女孩们 是你自己把她们推开的 No, I don't need to steal your girls, because you pushed them out.
就像你把我赶出去一样 Just like you pushed me out.
哦 天呐 我受够你这个戏精了 Oh, my God, I've had enough of that drama.
去和我律师聊聊 赶紧的 - Go talk to my lawyer. - Shoo!
哦 克莱尔 你还是老样子 Oh, Claire. You're still the same.
我们曾是一个多棒的团队 你总是不惜一切代价来证明自己是正确的 We were a great team. But you always had to be right at all costs.
嗯嗯 你一点都没变 - Mm-hmm. - And you haven't changed.
连你这张脸都看起来像是三十年没笑了NEven your face looks like it hasn't smiled in 30 years.
这属于侮辱了吧？ 当然 没错 对你灵魂的侮辱 - Is that supposed to be an insult? - Well, yeah, to your soul.
但你表面上看起来很棒 Physically you look great.
显然 我高估你们了 Obviously, I overestimated you two.
你们俩一个怂一个熊 You are nothing but a baby and a bully.
你懂个屁! You know what? No, okay?
我们聪明 强大 We're smart, and we're strong,
而且我们是最好的朋友 我们爱着彼此 并互相尊重 and we're best friends, and we love and respect each other.
你知道自己是什么吗 克莱尔 卢娜？ And you know what you are, Claire Luna?
你是个爱说谎 控制欲强 老奸巨猾 卑鄙下流 You're a lying, manipulative, conniving, backstabbing,
满嘴獠牙 长得像兔子杰西卡的混蛋 bucktoothed, Jessica Rabbit-looking motherfucker!
哦 说的好 Ooh, that is good.
兔牙部分太精彩了 You surprised me with the whole teeth thing,
太特么的形象了 但请继续 'cause they are looking crazy. But keep going.
你知道你还有什么吗？ 你有性病 And you know what else you have? You have Blue Waffles.
她有性病！ 这个婊砸！ She has Blue Waffles! This bitch here!
-不 我没有 -她有 - No, I don't! - She does.
不！ -而且你一点也不猛！ - No! - And you are not fierst!
现在正是我们庆祝的时刻 来啊 And now it's our time to celebrate. Come on.
现在看谁才笑到最后？ 嘿！ - Now, who feels like feeling good? - Hey!
你以为自己在干嘛？ 自我感觉良好… - What do you think you're doing? - Feeling good...
一 二 三 四！ One, two, three, four!
向城里的好工作说拜拜 ♪ Left a good job In the city ♪
为男人日夜奔波 ♪ Working for the man Every night and day ♪
我从不失眠 ♪ And I never lost One minute of sleeping ♪
担心事情进展是否顺利 ♪ Worrying 'bout the way Things might have been ♪
巨大的汽轮持续旋转 ♪ Big wheels keep on turning ♪
骄傲似火把在燃烧 ♪ Proud Mary keep on burning ♪
我们划呀划呀 ♪ And we're rollin', rollin' ♪
桨在水中摇 ♪ Rollin' on the river ♪
他们棒极了 They're amazing!
很好 你得看着我利用她们的名字 Great. You get to watch me take their name
赚它十个亿 而你什么也得不到 and make one billion dollars with it, and you'll get nothing.
我什么也不要 I don't need anything.
实际上她们仍拥有米娅和梅尔49%的股份 And technically, they still own 49% of Mia & Mel.
所以你得付给他们4.9亿美元 So you'll have to pay them $490 million.
我 靠！ Fuck!
我们划呀划呀 ♪ We're rollin', rollin' ♪
桨在水中摇 ♪ Rollin' on the river ♪
来吧 ♪ Come on ♪
嘿 嘿 嘿 Hey, hey, hey.
划 ♪ Rollin' ♪
划呀划 ♪ Rolling, Rollin' ♪
桨在水中摇 ♪ Rollin' on the river... ♪
姐妹们 我刚得到消息 Ladies, I just got word from distribution
今年年底骄傲将在国际上销售 that Proud will be sold internationally by the end of the year!
太棒了 That's amazing!
好了 好了 现在让我们看看你们有没有在练习 Okay, okay, now let's see if you bitches been practicing.
好吧 巴雷特……骄傲用法语怎么说？ All right, Barret... how do you say "Proud" in French?
骄傲 Fiére.
-用西班牙语呢？ - 骄傲 - Spanish? - Orgullosa.
呃……那是俄语 Uh... That's Russian.
意面 Spaghetti.
意大利语 Italian.
这位女士 我们得给你装个微晶片 Girl, we gonna have to get you microchipped.
掰掰 Toodles!
-谢谢各位啦 今天就这样 -很好 谢谢 - Thank you, ladies. That's it for today. - Great, thank you.
-别 -什么？ - Do not. - What?
来嘛 快说 Come on. Then just say it.
你是不是准备在接下来的20年里每个星期都要这样做？ Are you gonna do this every week for the next 20 years?
20? 我们就做20年就不做了？ Twenty? We're stopping this after only 20 years?
快说 快说 快说嘛 Say it. Just say it. Just say it.
好 好吧 我说出来你就安静 Okay, fine. I'll say it if this is gonna make you stop.
-我们成功了 -什么？ - We did it. - What?
-我们成功了 -你说什么？大点声 - We did it. - What? Louder.
我们成功了 我们成功了 是吗？ 我们都做了什么？ - We did it! We did it! - Yes? What did we do?
我们拽炸天！ 我们最炫酷！我们最厉害！ We blew up! We poppin'! We blew up!
对 我们成功了吗？ 没错 - Yeah, we did it? - Yes!
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